Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML
Today, I dropped my phone between my legs and tried to catch it with my thighs. Instead, the phone fell through just as I crushed my own balls with my legs. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML
Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML
Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML
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Top comments
ScaryyMary 14
You were playing with a ball that hit your balls and now your stepdad thinks you were playing with your balls when really you were only playing with one ball and you posted the whole sad story on FML... you, sir, are ballin'.
sourgirl101 29
Yea right. sounds like a poor excuse for playing with yourself
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Comments (170)
fatalsh0ts 0
DUDE you totally ripped that from the SIMPSONS get your own real stories nooby liar....
JoshTheMaggot 8
lol you fail sir. that's so funny. and either way you liked it but be careful ure stepdad could be a pedophile. check megans law man. hurry!
yourefreakindumb 0
Why the hell would you put your hands down your pants? I understand grabbing your nuts, but actually sticking your hands down you pants? You're freakin dumb and deserved every bit of that humiliation.
dsel1672 0
lol
HeroOfWar 0
hahaha. Sure that's what happened =P
jonny2x4 0
It's a pretty natural reaction to try to massage your balls in order to make it all better. Not that any of you ladies out there would ever understand. It's funny to watch guys getting crotched on"America's Funniest Home Videos" but not when you're on the receiving end.
Ren_Eah 0
I can actually sort of believe this. Something similar happened to my boyfriend once while we were on the phone, only it a was the remote to his tv and he didn't shove his hands down his pants O_o
doof_fisch 2
At least your stepdad didn't ask you if you were a tight-end.
ZleveL 0
ouchie poopoo
sdyzhp 0
Are you ok?