Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my social studies teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML
Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer, I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy, but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
brun12 1
Well at least you know you're a really good actress
bro1oke 0
Hey atleast you engaged the audience!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (73)
G0t4acked 8
I hope you beat their ass. FYL OP. good luck with the show.
hateevryone 15
i hope you beat her ass
mspeacock 6
Who punches a random girl at school who's arguing with another random girl?
loopsy_fml 14
I'm sorry. Really, I am. But I just broke up with my boy friend for cheating on me. I was sensitive to that.
TalkinSmack 6
...AND the aWARD for BEST ACTRESS goes to..... OP!
roydawgg 3
If you're going to see Twilight then you go to the theatER if you go see Death of a Salesman then you go to the theatRE.
Pazu_fml 10
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't 'theater' the US spelling and 'theatre' the British/Canadian spelling? I checked a few dictionaries and none suggest that there is any difference in meaning.
alexxss_fml 10
Aaaannnd scene!!!
_ryanfoster 1
I hope you punched her right back
G6chick 0
...why?
Ciara4757 16
At least u know ur good at acting now :)