Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my social studies teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML
Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer, I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy, but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, my man got arrested for starting a fistfight with a cashier who wouldn't let him smuggle out groceries without paying. It gets worse; two weeks ago he got arrested mugging a guy at a gas station, and he's still on bail. FML
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Top comments
brun12 1
Well at least you know you're a really good actress
bro1oke 0
Hey atleast you engaged the audience!
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Comments (73)
pyrt93 4
why practice in the hall? but at least now you know you've got talent
SilverInGray 25
I practice in the hall at school all the time. It's usually quieter.
redc 10
Someone's jealous of your skills
causticgirl 6
That's what happens when people assume they know what the hell is going on, and they don't have the sense to mind their own business.
Savra_fml 17
Give the girl that punched you the same lines to learn, but tell her that next time you see her and you argue it wont be just "practice".
FYLDeep 26
Hate to say it, but it sounds like the plot of this play is petty, stupid, and boring. I'd half expect it to turn into a Lindsay Lohan movie.
ikickgingers 15
Who?o.O
KiddNYC1O 22
Mean Girls was legit lol.
murdersquirrel 15
You're judging the entire play based on a brief description of one scene? Do you also only read a book if you like the cover?
SwaggerMelon 6
Yes ^
FYLDeep 26
Since I don't really give a shit which way I get thumbed right now, prepare for some dissent... Lindsay Lohan is ugly and a terrible, talentless actor. Mean Girls is an incredibly overrated movie. Two girls fighting over a guy is a huge ******* cliché and an uninteresting plot point. Plus, it makes girls look weak and too dependent on males. That is all.
murdersquirrel 15
I see your point, but still contend that a cliche can be intriguing within a certain context.
FYLDeep 26
Even if it wasn't a cliché, you be hard pressed to make me take interest in a plot point that seems to represent typical high school overdramatic bullshit. Apparently I'm the only one that feels that way though.
Blueglasscup 18
Daym you two must be pretty good actors for it to seem so authentic.
DjeePee 25
Her boyfriend probably got stolen the day before.
ideasrule 13
Look at the bright side: this means you're great at acting and will probably ace the performance.
Cobro 5
Hey don't worry the same thing happen to me today; except I was the one who threw the punch....wait
AthleticSwaqq 8
Who randomly punches someone in the face, calling them a crazy bitch if they dont whats actually happening? He/she is the psycho bitch.
AthleticSwaqq 8
*know