Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you'll be labeled as someone with a short temper. However, the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML
Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. Turns out they are firing 35 people. I wasn't on the list until I asked for a raise. FML
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML
Today, I came back to work after being out for a week. As I walked to the back of the store, I threw my hands up and yelled, "I'm back bitches". Right after I said it, I noticed my boss was behind me. I was then taken to the office and wrote up for foul language on my first day back. FML
Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML
Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML
Today, my boss sent me a message about a project, via WhatsApp. It's my day off, so I figured it could wait till I was able to give a flying fuck. Literally a minute later, he was spamming me, demanding to know why I'd left him as read and reminding me that he has firing powers. FML
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Top comments
ThreeSheetsGone 12
*sigh*
Fruit_Dealer 9
Double posts annoy me.. Good thing you can at least edit them.
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Comments (59)
leadman1989 16
Well if you get fired they'll give your picture to rupert to make sure your angry ass doesn't shoot up the place.
dopefreshh19 3
Lol why would you sing in a meeting in the first place ?
zebraface 15
Must have been a pretty ferocious sigh.
getupstandup_fml 2
I diagnose OP with envy.
Kristoffer 35
Shoulda been part of that old Phil Collins song.
sparxva 12
OP sounds bitter... Maybe a little angry... In comparison, creepy stalker guy has learned to conceal his feelings and not be as obvious. Think Poker-Face.
charlotte100 2
Well, this is purely based on Ur own subjective opinion. Im sure Ur boss didnt put u on notice solely because of u sighing/anger problem. Maybe the creeper stalker is actually a better worker than you are.
Camhero 0
If you can't beat them, join them.
Lamy_fml 5
God I want to so try this too now
Punkpoptart1119 20
That's how it works..definitely FYL. I know how it is in that boat. I can't stand seeing people who don't deserve promotions out there getting them like its nothing. Maybe the stalker guy is a giant suck up who is so far up the managers bum he can't even see straight. I'm gonna stop before I go into a fit of rage..
ReynshineCutting 10
Go on. Rage. Maybe the creepy stalker is. better worker. Maybe he does suck up more. Either way, he's doing what's necessary to get a promotion. You can't fault someone for that. Maybe if OP tried harder and sucked up more s/he'd get one too.