Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML
Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML
Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
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Top comments
creativexangst 0
Okay, while this totally sucks, I'm so using it the next time I date someone really shitty.
Eir_fml 1
#2, totally, haha. I'd tell her that it doesn't work that way, that she needs to give a 2 week notice before the last one, to mentally prepare to remember it well.
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Comments (19)
v42136 0
You
fafaffy 0
wow... shes a bitch for breaking up via text message
movie141 0
ya that's bad bro happen to me b4
acb3 0
sounds to me like someone needs to learn how to lick it the right way, then learn to stick it the right way.... In my experience, that normally keeps them around!
Imly654 0
Someones a bitch!
dinosaursateme 0
I bet you did something to piss her off for her to say that... two sides to every story...
txminiman 3
Doesnt matter had sex
TheEpicPies 15
Rude!