Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate's boyfriend professed his love to me. I kicked him out, and he stood outside the door calling my name until he saw my roommate coming down the hall. They both came in and he acted like nothing happened. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were riding in the back seat of his mom’s car and she kept talking at him non-stop. He responded only in grunts. When at some point I informed her that her son had been asleep for several minutes, she just kept on talking to him anyway. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend regularly has his ex stay over. They even share a bed. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
Today, I heard for the nth time (I lost count after 100) how my roommate and her boyfriend plan to have kids (yes, plural) because we’re "BFF family", and "family babysits for free." She’s actively trying to get pregnant, but wants to continue smoking and drinking like a fish. FML
Today, I woke up at 2 AM to the sounds of my roommate and his girlfriend on Skype, playing a game of, "No, I love YOU more, baby, schmoopy schmoopy schmoopy schmoo." It went on for around half an hour. FML
Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML
Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are rooming together at college. Visits are going to be extremely awkward. FML
Today, as usual, my flatmate is so loud when talking face to face that my ears and head rattle. I can't say anything because how dare I suggest there's anything wrong with my roommate's hearing. Yet nobody else talks this loud. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that since he's doing a project with a girl in his class and carpooling with her in the morning, she'll be sleeping over at his house. FML
Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML
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Top comments
DrPluton 0
Put on some headphones and ignore them. Nobody should be able to kick you out of your room.
blastvortex 4
Well, unless you're just sponging there, it's your place too. If they want alone time so bad, then tell them they need to give you an incentive to give them time alone. Of course, you could also just tell 'em off. If they want it so badly, they can make their own damn foxhole.
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Comments (129)
jonnymohio 2
Get a new roommate, move out. Or join in and make it a threesome. Either way, quit complaining and do something about it.
boone_fml 0
The only part of this that might be a drag is that they kick you out, but they can't really kick you out can they. Just stay. My room mate and I used to do it all the time. Just let them go about their business while you watch TV or read a book or whatever. Just don't start masturbating cause that's creepy.
ohJeeznotme 7
How did this lame ass FML get approved? Leave the room and shut up
AndreaHatesYou1 0
Okay then. This isn't an FML.
kathyfan 0
No it definitely is
YDI_King 0
YDI for not having a backbone
Abbster987 0
Sounds like someone's jealous...
technolove 7
yea, because getting angry of the fact that you're getting kicked out of your OWN ROOM automatically means you're jealous of them, right
shuffleyourfeet 0
big deal. its a minor inconvenience. and if you had boyfriend, youd expect the same.
kernelkat 16
who the **** moderated this? shit like this should not make the cut
MaximumRide 0
You got sexiled! LOL
Ye_Editor 0
EVERY weekend? Nah. It's your room too, set up a schedule and tell them you aren't going to be at their mercy. Perhaps recommend a hotel. Then if you have to crash their session, too bad for them, they'll learn. But it's YOUR room too.