Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML
Today, I watched one of my neighbor's trees fall into the electrical lines outside my house. This was after he took a chainsaw to the tree. He refuses to cover the damages. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow some tools. Trying to be friendly, I asked how he was doing. He then spent the next 45 minutes describing his recent breakup in excruciating detail. I just wanted him to take the tools and leave. FML
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Top comments
EclipseCandy6 24
You should kick him in HIS berries
IniestaRox 21
Well, that was berry meanest.
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Comments (71)
Soundslikeothers 15
I hope they weren't ripe!
ohSNAPyall 27
That's the last straw-berry!
ColonelCusswords 24
Some people are pieces of shit and some people are shit takers. Every now and then a shit taker kicks a piece of shit into a street and hits it with a car. Do that
91hayek 31
lmao this is hilarious! Sorry about the strawberries, but how does one exactly storm off after eating something? Did he glare the whole time he was chewing? This is some Nat Geo Animal Planet wilder-beast level anger. So childish.
daemonsparta 16
some people's children
Bernadetta 12
Go to his garden and destroy something and you also have to build a fence to be sure that he will not come back
leogachi 15
He ate the strawberries because you allowed him to. What would he have done if you stopped him? Probably just whined like a child, because he certainly behaves like one, so that's on you.
mistress_paz 30
You get friendly with people then they turn on you after getting a sense of entitlement to using your stuff. I live in an apartment, but keep to myself--getting to know the neighbors is clearly overrated.
swanheart 35
He ATE your daughter's strawberries? Oh man, there's no way to recover from that wicked burn, you may as well move! Just FYI that's not me saying you're overreacting, that's me saying your neighbour is pathetic
vreddyp 10
this guy is definitely going to be an insane person
Seabass_Chan 33
...GOING to be?