Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Ray_Scott 0
It's not love until you know she poops and you still want to have sex with her.
DameGreyWulf 1
I swear the last sentence said "I can't look at her ****** the same ever again" [shakes head, blinks eyes several times] Anyway, you're going to hear a lot of crap (haha) about how it's only natural and girls do poop etc etc But really, I understand. Nobody wants to think about their significant other defecating, or anyone at all for that matter, unless they're into that kind of thing. It's a rather awkward situation to stand and watch, especially when it's smelly. Now, this could be a plus though... she is comfortable enough to let you... er, witness that? Obviously it could also be the booze though.
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Comments (224)
xiar 0
HAHAHA
cyfclife 0
fake. girls can't poop.
cylus13 9
grow up! It's not like you don't take a shit. She was drunk so you can throw out lady like behavior. And if you love her you shouldn't care.
outbackbyrd 7
More room out than in.
dr_octagonapus47 4
Dude it's just a deuce she was drunk and probably didn't realize it since u had to help her to the bathroom but seriously man u should be able to handle shit you have done your whole life
kasparian 0
Hmm
zomgbies 17
if you could stand there and watch her drop a deuce, keep her.
MidnightMusic53 37
You should have left once she sat down on the toilet, this could have been easily avoided.
SaintJimmy21 19
Better out than in, that's what they say....!
missyacw 7
why didnt you walk out? people pull down their pants first. when she did, you should have excused yourself...YDI for standing there