Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML
Today, I was in my bed masturbating when I felt something on my chest. I looked down to see a spider running around. I'm super scared of spiders. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I was having a relaxing "wank", as they might say on Doctor Who, when a large spider descended from its web and came practically eye-to-eye with me. I screamed like a bitch and fell off my bed, pants around my ankles. Then my sister ran in to see what was wrong. FML
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
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Top comments
btopishere 1
That's how Peter Parker was created.
Crudez0rz 0
Who the **** masturbates into a sock?!?! hahaha
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Comments (286)
Quarentine514 0
lol poor spider " OMG WTF IS THIS THING AHHHH!H! * is being rattedled around inside sock*
lolsparky 0
Just be glad that spider wasn't into biting.
jrl585 0
you now can swing from buldings with your sperm
Asdas_fml 0
To all the guys who **** socks, please, think of your moms when they're doing the laundry. It might be convenient for you, but you're (most likely) not the ones doing the laundry.
Vinya_777 0
lol at the Peter Parker joke..
KippyNittles 0
If you rearranged the words in this FML it could rhyme and sound like a poem. Could you imagine? A poem about sex with a spider xD
caitlin_7 0
dude rly i liked spiderman dude rly SPIDERMAAN IS SOOO MUCH BETTER NOW he acculy had sex wit a spider and now might have spider children
Gibbio260 0
wahahahaha yes im another one of those people who after reading this HAD to create an account : ) imagine 20 years later him talking to his wife..................you aren't my first love..........and i have other kids
LittlexoMe 0
i hope you didn't knock the spider up! that'll be awkward..
gods_laughing 0
the way you worded that is hilarious