Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML
Today, some guy tried to rob me and I accidentally made him stab himself with his own knife. Now he gets a comfy ride to hospital, while I get to sit across from this grumpy desk sergeant, waiting for a lawyer to explain that I'm actually the victim in this scenario. FML
Today, my manager bailed on me during the afternoon rush; swamped and distracted, I cut off the pad of my thumb in a cheese slicer. Some clinic hours later I returned, hungry and sick with blood loss, to sign WC papers. Manager's only words: "You're staying late to cover your long break, right?" FML
Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML
Today, I cut my leg deeply at the beginning of my work shift. I wrapped it up with packing tape and a thankfully sterile paper towel, and had to work 6 more hours before I could leave. I made 110 dollars at work, only to spend 120 on stitches. FML
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML
Today, I saw the guy I bullied during elementary school and tried to apologize to him. Instead, he took out a knife and stabbed me. I'm currently in the ER. FML
Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML
Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML
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Top comments
your_face 15
You may be in the wrong profession.
Porschephile 0
All part of the business. Just be glad that you're far smarter than he is.
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Comments (179)
TheMaestro 4
To waste your time? Thats your job. You get paid for that work, jackass, don't be such a douche about it.
isis_morrigan 18
Yeah, because it's so much better to have your time wasted by a dumbass like that than a patient without self-inflicted/induced trauma, like say, a heart attack or car accident! Unfortunately you can't ignore them because of their stupidity, and it does effect the "real" patients with problems not of their own making.
PussyPredator 6
Yeah OP gets paid for it, but they could be treating patients with more severe, dangerous injuries. Not idiots who want to break something almost unbreakable against their leg.
downtime 13
11 and others, these same retards will also attempt to sue the doctor if they don't do their job to perfection. It's a stressful role as it is, that doesn't need to be made worse by needless injury that honestly shouldn't even be treated. Nature is clearly dropping some strong hints here that this guy should not still be walking...
KM96 24
What an idiot! I wish you luck OP - don't give up though coz life gets better :)
kiraleann 16
You're so chipper, your patients must adore you.
SmallBean 12
Nice nip!
THEKAISER 4
I don't want to live on this planet anymore
LaughinStock 16
Well umm I can give you some names to call they claim that a space ship will take them to heaven or some shit. There is a catch though, you have to drink some red kool aid. ;)
pandalover69 26
16 is quoting futurma
Kayokku 1
^ You don't say?! :O
elerbears 9
he seems like an interesting guy. lol. good luck OP!
loufol22 5
That sucks... Your job could be worse though
Right_Click 12
Part of the dismay of working in the medical field is getting to experience firsthand the endless amount of human stupidity in certain cases. I'm fairly certain DocBastard would agree.
MedKits 9
You really couldn't be more right.
DrMaverickRanger 4
Personally, I can handle the stupidity, i just take it in my stride as part of a friday or saturday night call, it's the cruelty, inhumanity, inequality and unfairness that gets to me - I try not to pass judgement, cos it would impact on the way I treat my patients, but I often can't fathom how and why they do some of the things they do to eachother...also, I have daily existential crises over why some people seem to be dealt blow after blow, while others seem to have fortune shine upon them...
desireev 18
Well, it's your job... Smile and act like you'd love to help! That is what you're getting paid pretty good money to do. Everybody complains about their job... But you're being a tad dramatic! I have to say YDI. You work in healthcare. You know what to expect. And if it's making you 'want to kill yourself', you need to find a more suitable job for yourself and your issues. Once again, YDI.
PussyPredator 6
Couldn't have said it better.
downtime 13
20, When people sign on to health care it is generally not with the realisation that most of what they'll be treating is a load of window licking idiots that managed to sneakily bypass evolution. This becomes a serious issue when you factor in the stress involved with working in this area, with zero margin for error.
desireev 18
What you say is very true. It is very stressful. As I am a nurse, myself. I know exactly how stressful it is. But I also know that it is my job. I have to deal with the idiotic patients as well as the serious patients who, in the end, turn out to be inspirational and great patients. I know how stressful it is for the OP. But if OP is to a point of 'wanting to kill herself', she needs to choose a different career path.
downtime 13
134, If life were as easy as just doing something else I'm sure many people would. Sadly, with few people hiring at entry level - especially mature age - I'd suggest it is unlikely that this is a realistic option that won't add to the individuals problem. As I said, nobody expects the realisation that most of their patients are complete imbeciles. It's unrealistic to expect them to be able to handle it because they "chose that path". It's hardly something someone deserves.
rebelsrock 17
I think he was the one trying to kill himself
micahsmommy 13
Create a blog like DocBastard and laugh off the stupidity. Stupid people get hurt so you're bound to see plenty in your profession.