Today, I had to take my eyes off my kid for a minute to respond to an important work email. I was about to click send when I heard a flushing sound and mad giggling. It was the TV remote. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally called my boss and left a voicemail as I was yelling to my kid, "I NEED TOILET PAPER TO WIPE MY BUTT! WHERE IS ALL THE TOILET PAPER?!" Followed by me yelling something like, "STOP WATCHING ME WIPE MY BUTT!" immediately after my kid walked in with baby wipes. FML
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Today, I was lying on my recliner watching TV when I dropped the remote under the footrest. I got down on my hands and knees and pushed the footrest into the chair. The moment I touched the remote, the footrest deployed and hit me square in the face. FML
Today, I was so happy to hear my phone go "Ding" that I jumped for joy out of my couch. It was actually a character on my TV getting a text. FML
Today, I was WFH on a video call with my team when my toddler barged into the room. As I tried to calmly guide her out, she managed to turn my Bluetooth speaker on, which started blasting "Baby Shark" to my entire team. They now have a new nickname for me. FML
Today, I spent what seemed like an hour tearing apart my living room looking for the TV remote, only to find it in the fridge next to the milk. It turns out that last night I decided to put my cereal away in the entertainment center. FML
Today, I was trying to lower the volume on my TV, but nothing was happening. I got increasingly frustrated, smacking the remote and yelling at the screen. My brain finally woke up when I realized I was holding the air conditioning remote and had been turning my living room into a freezer instead. FML
Today, I was on a Zoom call with my boss and a client, discussing a new project. My toddler burst into the room and screamed, “Mommy, I shitted in the bathtub!” The camera was on, and I just froze, while my boss tried to hold in his laughter. FML
Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML
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Top comments
macone 30
At least the kid isn't going to watch tv the whole day anymore.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Kids are wonderful, aren't they?
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Comments (10)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Kids are wonderful, aren't they?
macone 30
At least the kid isn't going to watch tv the whole day anymore.
Hejira Hayes 8
What the hell kind of remote control can flush a toilet?
manofmerr 27
Have you ever seen a movie called click?
RichardPencil 32
Your TV remote can make flushing noises?!?!? That’s great — you can play that when you reject a bad show.
TheSminty1 17
Apparently it can also giggle madly
i8cake 12
I see a universal remote in your future! or 2 or 3 or...
TheSminty1 17
Nothing good starts with "I took my eyes off {X} for a minute"
Kymberly Hams 12
mine is only just walking and has alreafy worked out the baby gate. i found out because i found him cleaning the toilet witht the toilet brush 😂 they are great arent they 😂
Christi2fast 11
This would be perfect for a condom advertisement.