Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML
Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Today, my roommate eavesdropped on me singing. When I realized he was there, he said I was "fucking incredible" and asked me to do another song. There's just one issue: I only sing well when I'm alone. The result was predictably bad. If it was possible to literally die of embarrassment, I wouldn't be writing this. FML
Today, I had to hear my neighbor whine again through the walls because he can't talk in a quiet voice. You can hear him from across the street, and that's before he gets drunk. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML
Today, I was singing my heart out in the shower, convinced I was alone. Turns out my roommate had friends over, and they could hear everything through the bathroom vent. Now, they keep requesting encore performances of my renditions of songs by The Smiths. FML
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
Today, I realized how alone I truly was when I caught myself talking to a podcast. FML
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Top comments
Jeffo193 13
I really hope that mixtape winds up on YouTube so we can all hear it...also getting drunk by yourself a lot often leads to alcoholism OP, so watch out
MURIKKA 11
"Ahhhh and I fuckinggg.... I.... I.... I ******* love ma neighbors. You know what? Imma give them $1,000 dollars tomorrow!" No wonder the neighbors are recording this stuff.
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Comments (45)
patrickalamo 48
It sounds like YouTube gold, I would post it.
Enslaved 38
I drink alone, yeah With nobody else You know when I drink alone I prefer to be by myself
ebonyirony 29
ah good old thorougood. (sp) I like his other one. one bourbon. one scotch. and one beer.
richiefitz 4
Lol
CuriousAlien 7
America's funniest neighbors here I come!!!
perdix 31
O, Mel Gibson, how far have you fallen! Mad Max has really gone mad.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
You drink alone?? That's a bit sad
winkydog4056 16
OP, don't worry too much about talking to yourself....it's when you start answering yourself that it's perhaps time to get a life
emoshadow47 9
I am so sorry, well i bet you'll be sober for awhile
RedPillSucks 33
During your next drinking session, in a loud clear (but mumbly?) voice "Yeah Leroy? You say I should kill them all?" "But I really like my neighbors. I have no use for this gun I just bought" "Kill them all, you say?"
raycj 1
Yea great idea that won't get him/her arrested!
doglover100 29
See what they say when they're drunk.