Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I found out that our daughter's chronic stomach aches are due to gluten intolerance, so we need to cut all wheat out of our diet. We're bakers. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I’m getting a very interesting demonstration of how genetics work: I have inherited all my dad’s health issues, plus those from my mom, plus a bunch of new ones that belong exclusively to me. FML
Today, I found out I have celiac disease. I also happen to be a baker and will be constantly reminded of all the wheat products I can no longer enjoy. FML
Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML
Today, my grandmother is shocked that literally all of her kids and grandkids have mental handicaps. She won't admit it's because her and my grandfather are first cousins, and is claiming instead it's, "because of gluten." FML
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Today, we live in a tiny trailer. My doctor said I have celiac disease. My dad, who takes things too literally, came back with gluten-free dog food. I don’t even have a dog. FML
Today, I missed going to my boyfriend's stepsister's wedding. I would have been meeting my boyfriend's mom for the first time; now she doesn't like me. She figured I could just "tough it out". I have a chronic health condition and haven't been able to eat or get out of bed. FML
Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML
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Top comments
immaMonsta 8
Just be thankful that she isn't your doctor.
DocBastard 40
Isn't that how genetics works? Your hair and eyes can change color too!
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Comments (65)
hama806 19
Beauty but no brains. Can't win them all.
the_true_batman 10
I want to be half black, I'm going to try to get my dad to marry a black woman. This is going to be so sweet. I bet I'll get taller, more athletic, and have an awesome skin tone. I can't wait.
kittenvks 11
Still won't be able to jump though, assuming you're white now. How do I know this? The cant jump gene is too dominant. Pop culture proved this when I was a kid :)
the_true_batman 10
Damn, I am white now. Is not jumping really dominate over jumping? I didn't pay enough attention in biology.
laurenasabutton 26
"Would have went away". Really?
lidget 5
What's the problem?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
My friend acts dumb to impress guys. It's REALLY annoying, and it's also why I don't hang out with her much anymore. I can't handle the stupid, lol.
etchsanity1 11
I once had a pregnancy scare with a girl like that... Turned out she was married... :/ she hadn't had sex with her husband in months and had a false positive for pregnancy the doc said it was between 4-6 weeks nearly the exact timeframe she spent with me.... Her biggest concern was that now that she was having sex with her hubby again that it might get his rare genetic disease if it was a boy.... Thank god it was not a real preggers moment or I would be the father of an idiot ... She thinks if you have sex while pregnant the kid will take after the dad if not then it will take after the mom... I feel your pain.
WhoSaidThatIsh 13
I hope she's at least attractive, extremely caring or very nice, cause she doesnt sound too bright.
andyyroxx 20
14 - You may well be the greatest troll, or just a flat-out cuntnugget who deserves sandpaper-covered golf balls up their rectum.
Calingaladha 21
I'd tell her how grateful I was I hadn't matrimonially inherited her stupidity, then. Then I'd wait for her to figure out what matrimony is.
Trevorhals 2
Irony I'm I'll today because of my wheat allergy and my mom doesn't believe I'm ill
DocBastard 40
That isn't exactly irony, champ.
jerzey1313 0
Well apparently she is an ASS n a home wrecker
desireev 18
54- This doesn't necessarily make her a home wrecker. She could have won him over fair and square after he and OP's mom divorced! Just because the world is a ****** up place doesn't mean that everybody is guilty of an act of stupidity! Assume makes an ASS out of U and ME! Keep that in mind!