Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into my former therapist. Still confused by her last email, I asked what she needed to "protect herself" from. She said she needed to protect herself from feeling sad and worrying that I'd get beaten up. I'm afraid I now understand why this country is so messed up. FML
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
Today, I found out that my dad has a therapist. That's cool. What's cooler is that she's a very nice lady, and even said to ME that I could talk too if I wanted to. Boy, do I want to. But if I did, then she would probably need a therapist herself, and the last thing my dad needs is his therapist needing a therapist. FML
Today, I tried therapy to talk about my problems without feeling like i am harassing anyone. After messaging a therapist for over 2 hours, I felt way better and finally understood. It turned out I'm in such a bad mental state that I'm a danger to myself and others. Police were called by the therapist. FML
Today, my therapist farted three times during the same session. FML
Today, after my boss thanked me for being so "reliable" all the time, I confessed to her that I have really bad anxiety, which has given me a crippling fear of disappointing her and ending up jobless. Even after reassuring me that she would never do that, the feeling is still there. I think I need therapy. FML
Today, I had my first appointment with my new therapist. After I told her my family history and past abusive situations, she looked at me and asked, "How are you still sane?" FML
Today, my therapist started laughing at me whilst I was telling my story. He said, "Sorry, I can't help it" and burst out laughing. FML
Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML
Today, I came to the unpleasant realization that my friends only keep me around because I’m nice, know when to keep my mouth shut, and am willing to listen to them vent. In short, I’m the therapist friend. FML
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Top comments
SnigglePoop 3
Put a menacing face on and mabye you'll get a discount ;)
perdix 31
They're nice to you because you pay them. Follow the money. If she thought you were really dangerous, she'd send you to a psychiatric hospital. She knows you are just a pussy full of rage and impotence. She's not afraid you'll pull out a knife, but that you'll put away your checkbook.
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Comments (129)
MrsPegg 45
I can only relish in the outcome. . .
SnigglePoop 3
A salty pickle?
_daniellesays_ 10
Ohhh, SnigglePoop, you weirdo! :)
Rifet 7
Ermm.. Don't be surprised when you come in and you have a new therapist. YDI
THE_A_TEEN 28
How does he deserve a very unprofessional therapist blubbering ****?
jennyc246 8
I wonder how you found this out OP..
Kyzahhh 7
Do you by any chance dress like Mick Dundee?
Enslaved 38
I love eating at "Outbacks" just so I can cut my steak with those over sized knives.(:
Kyzahhh 7
I use those knife's for everything, shaving, eating, waving at my therapist....
glittercookies 12
Exactly. Besides how would a "mean" therapist get through to anyone.
MrsPegg 45
I prefer Kosher dill. I think OP is one of those cucumber types though. Hmm...
JustinComments 3
One comment is sufficient, you don't need to try and think of new "clever jokes".
The_Instigator 11
You should give her a hug.
Flutequeen 0
I hope your not going to now that you know.
not_cool808 16
demand for discount