Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument when I suggested we start sleeping in separate rooms. He thinks I don’t love him anymore, but that’s not the case. I’m madly in love with him, but he snores like a freight train and thrashes like a fucking Ninja Turtle all night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML
Today, my new (and possibly ex) husband told me he is reconsidering staying married to me. He thinks my snoring is “so unlady like” and he can’t live the rest of his life sleeping with a “fucking Snorlax.” I’ve had sleep apnea since my mid 20s. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years completely lost it because last night I told him I wanted to move to a less remote area so I can be independent. He shouted that I bring no money in, he has to do everything, and that I that I snore so loud he can hear me from downstairs where he sleeps. I'm pregnant. We are in our 40s. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a massive argument. I suggested we have a movie night. He suggested an all day/night Star Wars marathon. I’d be OK, if it wasn’t for the fact that we’ve done that at least five times in the last two months. He says I’m the one being unfair. FML
Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s bed is so uncomfortable that even after six months of not seeing him, I’m sleeping on the floor so I can actually get some sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend starting going off on me, calling me a psycho, all because I opened our bedroom door while he was in there. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cacheson 42
If it’s really that bad, perhaps you should get him to go to a doctor. He could have serious health issues with a sleep pattern like that.
Magtec 11
He should probably be tested for sleep apnea, it's a serious health concern (can cause high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke). That said, one if the happiest married couples I know has separate bedrooms.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (23)
cacheson 42
If it’s really that bad, perhaps you should get him to go to a doctor. He could have serious health issues with a sleep pattern like that.
Nicolette Carpenter 5
Sleep apnea or a deviated septum...my hubby has sleep apnea and thank god for his cpap
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
naah you don't love him, the other commenter just proved it
JackFaire 27
The other commentator only you can see?
Magtec 11
He should probably be tested for sleep apnea, it's a serious health concern (can cause high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke). That said, one if the happiest married couples I know has separate bedrooms.
LostSoul 20
Sleep apnea is so dangerous.
Major_Haywire 7
I’m afraid I inflict the same on my wife. I snore like a chainsaw. We’ve slept in separate rooms since I’ve moved in. She tried earplugs but the vibrations through the bed were still too much. It’s fine if we go away anywhere as she can has some wine which is enough to dull my snoring. On a more serious note you should check if he has sleep apnoea, as snoring, as in my case, can be a symptom. There are a couple of devices that can greatly reduce the snoring as well. One is like a gum shield that holds the jaw forward when you sleep and a nasal dilator.
Major_Haywire 7
I meant to add. I always thought my wife was exaggerating until she recorded me snoring. I was flabbergasted at just how loud it was. I dunno how the hell I can sleep through it let alone anyone else.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Talk to him about sleep apnea.
Glitterbaby2613 20
sounds like my ex bf to a tee....npt all couples sleep together
RichardPencil 32
A ******* Ninja Turtle? We don't need to know about you cosplay kink!
Sady_Ct 38
Set up a camera and record his antics, and then show him. Then take it all to the doctor, he may have psychological issues as well as sleep apnoea if he is thrashing that much. Good luck.
acmariner99 25
Tie him up and gag him?