Today, I sleep on the floor every night because my cat has punctured three air mattresses. I was going to get a real bed with my stimulus check, but I broke my leg and had to pay for the doctor's bill. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat woke me up at 12 AM. After I told her to chill, I realized the mattress needed some air. Inflating it didn't work so I looked for the puncture wound. While trying to find a hot glue stick to patch it with, I got a thin shard of glass in my foot, which broke while I tried to get it out. FML
Today, I need a new mattress. Last night, I slept on the floor. It was the best sleep I've had in a while. FML
Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML
Today, my cat pissed on my bed, so I had to change the sheets. Just as I got out of bed and take my first step, I stepped in my cat's poop as well and slipped, spraining my ankle. FML
Today, after my landlord has refused to fix the bathroom plumbing problem in my apartment for several days, I had to buy cat litter for myself. FML
Today, I was sitting down to do my homework when I severely sprained my ankle. I live on the third floor and can’t walk far without severe pain, and I'm broke, so a compression bandage is out of the question. I can’t wait until the first of the month when I get paid again. FML
Today, I broke the cheap-ass bed in a holiday cottage. All I did was lay down on the bastard, I wasn’t having sex on it and I’m not overweight, but all the supports under the mattress snapped. The owner says I need to pay, and now I don’t have a bed for the rest of my holiday. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
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Top comments
A Frenchy in Eire 31
Err, are you drunk? OP said he broke his leg. Did you expect him to fix it with a band aid?
Miss_Red 18
**** the american healthcare system, for reals.
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Comments (12)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Ah, America and our wonderful healthcare system. /sarcasm