Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that I had an anxiety attack. FML
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
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Top comments
SwiftFaux 0
That heavy breathing wasn't snoring.
CalCommando 6
"Oh baby, never bathe again... your hair is so greasy... rub that cupcake on my ankle!" Oh, not that dirty?
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Comments (75)
Enslaved 38
31, your comment makes a lot of sense as to what might have happened. All though, some guys get a burst of energy after climaxing. I guess timing is everything. Next time just make sure your guy is well rested before such talks.
picklemonger 13
I guess he was finished... ;-)
CadillacPimpen 6
Some one please say something about that pickle!
GVirdi 11
... Did it turn u on?.. (before u troll, YES I know it's a horrible comments.. I cudnt think of anything else u nook's D:)
cash_monkey72 9
Yawn...
grands138 4
Next time, keep it short, sweet, and to the point. Think Penthouse forum, not romance novel.
johncrb 6
He's not worthy of your love. Kick him to the curb.
jenna_love91 5
Awkward
Newzealeb 3
Maybe he was just REALLY tired .
chocolatechocha 8
You're doing it wrong.
BadBoyz90210 0
he probably had already climaxed...