Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
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Top comments
JBiz_fml 0
That sucks. And #1 you go to hell.
hans12 0
um,kid hits you hard enough to leave a bruise = spanking.
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Comments (79)
saba_fml 0
werent very smary now werent we? but you gotta love kids ;)
mbargozz 0
You should have hit HIM with the flashlight...
Oriina 0
Thus why you don't give them something to /throw back/ at you. You're supposed to let them scream themselves hoarse until they give in-- I should know, I have to do it to my 3-year-old sometimes. If you give them what they want, they'll figure out that screaming gets them things. So ignore them until they stop and act like they aren't even throwing a temper tantrum.
M_Baugh01 0
at least you didnt hand him a *****! i thought thats what u were going to say LOL
bgdaddy1711 0
ok this site really needs to add a "who cares" button because this is not an FML
yo_no_se 0
that little poop head
maggieislemons 0
Screw children. Ugh. I would've smacked the brat.
PrettyVal 0
@#17 and 19 - spanking a 2 year old does nothing. He's a BABY. Babies do not understand spankings, they just understand someone is hurting them. I agree the OP should have given him maybe a stuffed animal or something instead of the flashlight, but still spanking is not a solution. and at #67 - You should never have or be around children. How can a BABY be a brat? My word. Honestly people are so horrible to children these days. I get he was having a tantrum, but he's a freakin baby. Ignore him, he'll get tired of crying.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
are you freaking serious? people are horrible to children these days? yeah, much worse than, oh I dunno, 50 years back when even teachers regularly beat up the kids.
tipsy337 0
Get smacked
hellofox7 0
You should hav ehad spanked him really hard and yelled at him. Then leave him in the room.