Today, my father bought a pair of fancy noise cancelling headphones. He doesn't realise that the noise cancelling function only slightly muffles the moaning and screaming in the porn he's watching. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, my boyfriend found some noise-canceling headphones that he forgot he had. Once he adjusted them and put them on, he sat down and asked me to tell him about my day. FML
Today, my dad came to my room to tell me he’s going to take a nap and didn't want to be disturbed. About 5 minutes later, my speaker started broadcasting the moaning voice of a woman clearly having sex. He's never borrowing my Bluetooth speaker ever again. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I bought noise-cancelling headphones to help me focus while working from home. They're amazing. I can no longer hear my timer, my doorbell, or my smoke alarm when I burn my lunch. FML
Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML
Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML
Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML
Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML
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Top comments
l_ 19
I don't think he understands the purpose of noise-cancelling headphones.
zefronke8 25
Oh...oh god
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Comments (39)
gijojo_fml 9
Wow people down vote good comments FML has such a great community I think I might just jump of a bridge
Lizza330 28
Whining will just get you down voted more. Sometimes people don't agree with what you wrote.
Nathan_Henry 15
Um can you tell me what exact headphones they were
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Wondering if yours didn't block out the sounds of **** too?
Nathan_Henry 15
?no I'm looking into getting some
SSJ4Asterisk 5
Oh no no no...he realizes. That's how we mark our territory. Lions roar, wolves pee on stuff to leave their scent marker. Birds, uhm crap on things? We men make the area uncomfortable for others! He went the headphone route. Others release gas either above or below. Some wear their Speedos around the house (even in winter). The effect is the same. You get creeped out and then we get all this lovely space to ourselves.
blondiebluex3 8
i feel as though a "now bitch go make me a sandwich"... popping open a tall boy and nice slap on the ass is how this should be followed up. haha
fuckfuckityfuck 16
I found out the hard way too.
THEXOCDXGAMER 5
lol that title tho XD
Sebof2001 7
I would've tested it out first omg
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
How could he test them without having someone else wear them? "Today, my dad made me sit down and watch **** so he could see if his fancy new noise cancelling headphones worked. FML"
Shade1982 21
Well, that is exactly how he should have tested them :P.
Shalnar 6
*shudder*
maharb01 17
tell him it only filters the sound from going in, not out. . .and in, and out. . .wait
violet_lipstick 12
I understand the feeling my brother has the same issues
chosha_fml 27
Tell him about a "friend" who was said they were listening to something for homework, not realising that their mum could hear the music, because they thought noise-cancelling headphones made it impossible to hear what was playing instead of reaping they block outside noise. Hopefully he'll figure out it would apply to his ****, too.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Why is he watching **** with other people around anyway? Or were you walking by? Edit: sorry I meant to make my own comment, not reply!