Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw a young child passed out unattended in a hot car so I smashed the windows to rescue him. After waiting with him for 30 minutes, his mom came out and called the cops on me. I officially have a probation violation and the mom went home free. FML
Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML
Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. I'd set an alarm but forgot to turn my car off, having switched the AC on due to the blistering heat. The cool air lulled me to sleep. When I woke up, my boss was knocking on my window. Apparently, I'd knocked the car into neutral and it had rolled into his parking spot. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, I couldn't find my car in a mall parking lot. After 30 minutes of searching, I reported it stolen to the mall security. It turns out that I'd parked it on the opposite side of the mall. Security escorted me to my car, all while giving me pitiful looks. FML
Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML
Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML
Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML
Today, while leaving late for work, I walked out to my car only to find the back window broken. Worst part was, I still had to go to work because no one who could cover me showed up. FML
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Top comments
krad204 21
That's what you get for creeping.
evilplatypus 39
It you SEE a baby in a car, call the police. Do not actively go in search of it. You are not a super hero, just annoying. I've read that people trapped in a fire can die; I do not go around looking for fires I can rescue people from. There are people who actually do that for a living. They are called "professionals".
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Comments (106)
jvillan87 5
Shoulda smacked him back.
biggestfan23 11
I would probably do the same thing as the guy did. I don't want a random stranger looking through my car window
Boygenius50 8
OP, saving the world one parking lot at a time.
onlychildFTW 34
Generally peopling creeping in parking lot and looking through car windows = trying to steal a car.
reddudeover 2
You hit me once I hit you back You gave a kick I gave a slap
ilovedoctorwho 8
Hey, don't thumb down 49, they're quoting Kiss with a Fist by Florence + the Machine! Awesome song, I suggest you listen to it.
Hollers1995 0
You smashed a plate over my head Then I set fire to the rain
aimeesea75 16
Smack smack, sugar smack, give me a smack and I'll smack ya back!:D
BandWagonGuy 8
49, 74, Yaaaay, independant music that's usually found through you tube!
snippyxD 7
This ain't tumblr ^all of the above minus the two on top
ELIte10 0
Yeah because creeping in a parking lot looking in cars in search of babies doesn't make you look like a pedophile or anything.
xo20389 3
"Set fire to our bed" not rain
pexy_fml 16
Good job
gamercanadian 11
The awkward moment when your in the car, picking your nose and someone outside starts staring at you, and you continue on to pick your nose anyway.
nado13579 12
That awkward moment when you're in the car and you turn your head and notice someone in another car looking at you.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
The awkward moment when you mean-mug a ugly person from your car, then realize you're looking in the rear view mirror.
DocBastard 40
That awkward moment when you fail to realise you're threadjacking AND using a trite, overplayed "that awkward moment" meme.
realSlimjimShady 7
That awkward moment when you only are commenting in the third comment because you know no one will see it otherwise
klovemachine 24
That awkward moment when "that awkward moment" has been said way too many times :D
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
That awkward moment when someone combo breaks.
thiscrazything 1
And that would be me, here to suggest that OP read an article on creating world peace.
downtime 13
That awkward moment when you realise how stupid it is to imply people should post comments that aren't going to be seen by anybody.
krad204 21
That's what you get for creeping.
Whatever0084 2
Agree with u man. How weird are these people?
ghostlilac 25
At least OP had good intentions...? Actually no, that's just weird and paranoid.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Don't look in my window, you silly! I slap juu!" *slap* Op: what the ****?
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
We've got a potential creeper over here
Da_Bauss435 8
He probably thought you were going to explode from how hard you were creeping
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Aw, I failed at amusing everyone with my comment D: Oh well, off to do creeper things!
Fml_FTW228 10
"Get your legs flexin', and your arms t-rexin'. Do the creep haauuh, do the creep haauuh!"
NeatNit 33
89 don't worry I got a good laugh ;)
Alwayspullout 7
94, win
ninjacapo 2
Im picturing pedo-bear
SkoomaKi 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Honestly, you're a great guy/girl for checking for any babies suffering in the heat. Smack the guy back, eye for an eye.
nachiketin 11
Eye for eye makes world go blind ;)
muzy 23
20- Some people might get the wrong idea if you come up to their car and start looking into it. Don't know if it's just me, but I would definitely be alarmed if I saw someone peeking into my imaginary car.
capslockisgood 19
Only if everyone is a cyclops.
SkyBirdy 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Good for you! Im glad you're taking action!
SkyBirdy 5
All sarcasm aside.
jerryk 2
What the f***! That's wierd and the guy is a douche
Senseless_487 29
Almost as weird as walking around a parking lot, peeking in all the cars, no?
CaptTeemo 10
I don't see a baby, but I see a really nice iPhone...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Save the iPhone from certain death. They can't do shit if it's iPhone abuse we're talking about.
Demonfish 14
People get pissed off by that. can't think why...
justhanging 6
Not sure if you're serious or being sarcastic, so I'll point out the obvious -- someone peeking in cars is quite likely looking for something to steal.
Demonfish 14
Am I being sarcastic? 115- look into your heart and you will find the answer.
CaramelMacchiato 13
7 - your comment reminds me of something all my teachers say. Me: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: I don't know, can you?
KiddNYC1O 22
You may... But can you? Idk.
Demonfish 14
123- your teachers are probably trying to encourage you to use "may I..." instead of "can I...", grammatical techniqualities and all :P
besoslanae 1
Whos that creeping in ya windooow xD
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I always feel like somebody's watching me... He's looking in you windows.. Uh, ok I don't have anymore. WAIT--nope, nothing.
IOmnomHard 10
They climbin' in yo windows, snatchin' yo people up...
CaptTeemo 10
Hide yo kids...
evilplatypus 39
It you SEE a baby in a car, call the police. Do not actively go in search of it. You are not a super hero, just annoying. I've read that people trapped in a fire can die; I do not go around looking for fires I can rescue people from. There are people who actually do that for a living. They are called "professionals".
ManInTheMachine 20
I don't think there are professional car searchers, though. OP's heart was in the right place, but they weren't really thinking rationally.
evilplatypus 39
It's the job of the police/fire department (not to check every car, but to rescue people; checking every car is ridiculous and unrealistic). And which do you think is a more likely outcome of op's good heart? A) him actually finding a baby to rescue? B) someone seeing some weirdo looking in every car in the lot, calling the police because they think he's looking for an easy target, and cops having to waste their time to check it out when they could be ACTUALLY helping someone as opposed to op who's trying to play hero? As the saying goes: The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
ManInTheMachine 20
No, you misinterpreted my comment. I should've added this: I completely agree. OP was stupid to think that they could peep into peoples cars in a parking lot and think that a.) a baby would be looking up at them with a "you're my hero" expression on their face, and b.) think that someone wouldn't interpret heir car sweep as a potential theft. The first part of my comment was just a jab at your 'They are called "prefessionals".' statement. Nothing serious about it. My mistake for not making my self clear.
EnterSandman_fml 20
I agree with evilplatypus. I know if I saw some random person snooping around my car, I'd be really pissed. There is such a thing as privacy. Of course, I hate kids so I wouldn't have one in the first place to worry about leaving in a car.
Calyx_fml 22
OP thinks he's Baby Batman.
Valdrek 26
Finally I was waiting for someone with a good head screwed onto their shoulders to comment.
WCARlover 35
Well it probably looked pretty bad...can't blame him for not knowing you were looking for overheated babies lol
BBoureaux 8
I don't know why you're getting thumbed down, I actually agree... if someone was walking around a parking lot looking into all the cars, I would think they were trying to find a car with some good stuff to steal. Although, I wouldn't have hit the OP.. just watched him closely.
reddudeover 2
10 - That explanation makes it like 10x worse. Guy - Hey what are you doing?! Op - I'm only looking for hot babies I swear!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Mmm, overheated babies...*drool*