Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML
Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML
Today, I was sitting in my garden and having a cup of tea while watching some dragonflies. I thought the dragonflies were really pretty, so I ran towards them and tried to catch their tails like I used to when I was a kid. They were exotic wasps. Ouch. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML
Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML
Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML
Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML
Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML
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Top comments
uneekfreak16 0
Are you the same guy with the FML who smashed his own nuts when he got scared and saw a spider on them?
hyper12332 0
haha you little pussy
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Comments (181)
pat2rome 0
You're available? Shocking!
Rabyd 0
Butterfly wings are made of their own shit. I can see why you're scared.
Adrianna69 0
LMAO that sounds like something straight out of a comedy movie.
Jakester 0
haha #70 and yes I do agree, somebody needs to illustrate this ASAP. I cant wait to see it. ...and this is the reason why the OP remains single to this day
darkimmortal777 6
that is sooo funnyyyyyy. haha for you =)
elisemarie2790 0
that's adorable. i would've done the same thing. butterflies aren't scary, but they're f-in' stealthy. =( have a good day! =)
jackdaniels_fml 0
LMAO i'm pretty sure that you're my ex-boyfriend lol it's totally something he would do, and no, no it's not endearing in real life. sensitivity is one thing, but this is something else lol
floresntadolecnt 0
#30, nice stealing from Dane Cook haha. "How horrible does it sound to be killed by bees? I mean killer horses I could understand.."
briana83 0
LMAO! I wish I would have seen that in person! I have a coworker who screams when she sees caterpillars because they remind her of snakes. Totally hilarious.
suckingatlife 9
that would be funny