Today, at Starbucks, I complimented the awkward nerdy barista's name tag because of the funny Sonic decorations on it. The dude took it as me flirting and gave me my drink with Sonic drawn on it. I had applied to work there and now I can't go back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
Today, I was at a coffee shop, trying to get to know the cute new barista. I wanted to compliment his nice eyes, but I got nervous and blurted out, "You have nice elbows!" He stared at me, confused, as I quickly grabbed my coffee and left. Now I can't even imagine going back there. FML
Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML
Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML
Today, at work, I was fired from my job for being too "forward" to my boss. All I did was get him coffee and a biscuit from McDonald's to celebrate his 15-year anniversary working there. FML
Today, I walked into Starbucks for a job application. I asked the manager if they were hiring, as I really need a job. He looked me up and down and replied, "NO!" There was a 'Now hiring' sign in the window. FML
Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML
Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I heard, "Hey, ugly's back again." FML
Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good… you left a nipple." and slowly licked it off. FML
Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
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Top comments
nonsensical 26
I think it was a cute, simple compliment that you gave and he was giving you a cute response. Doesn't confirm nor deny that you want to have his babies. You can go back, I promise.
CaityMandy 10
Why can't you go back?
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Comments (42)
tori210 15
These FML's are getting so lame. ?
melana09 19
Flirting or not flirting there's not a reason for you not to go back.
PrimeStarscream 30
<p>Was it Chris-chan?</p>
ChickenNug 17
A Barista is someone who works in a coffee shop.
Nabexis 9
Couldn't be. He has a monthly tugboat, remember?
emmahz 2
<p>That really does not sound like flirting to me even remotely </p>
rockydify 22
You sound insane OP.
EduardoRock 0
So the problem is that he assumed you were flirting... and yet your FML is based on your assumption that HE was flirting. That's not fair
BlameTheOwls 14
A barista is someone of any gender who works at a coffee shop.
jaegerbomb98 6
hey assholes, its called anxiety, and im the same way. i went home early from shopping because someone outside of walmart talked to me (trying to sell something) and instead of them seeing me go outside the other doors and go to sallys, i just went home.
cootiequeen4444 11
I have severe anxiety and I don't think even having anxiety would excuse OP'S generalizations. They clearly wrote like the batista was beneath them. ****, I'm a little anxious because I legitimately feel bad for the batista. even if he was flirting, so what? it's not the end of the world. nerds should be able to date. and I would hope someon3 whom struggles with anxiety would not be so demeaning to someone just because they spoke to them. As people with anxiety should know just how hard it is to