Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair and makeup, I somehow managed to spray myself in the right eye with hairspray, and in the left eye with makeup setting spray. I left the house with two very bloodshot eyes. FML
Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML
Today, in an effort to be fitter, I joined a Pilates class. Ten minutes into it, I dropped a 10-pound dumbbell on my face. I now have a horrific looking black eye, and half of my cheek is a mottled green color. Not to mention the cut above my eye that needed 4 stitches. FML
Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML
Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML
Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML
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Top comments
LizzysOwner 17
As a cheer coach I'm very interested to know how you got not one but TWO black eyes from a stunt. Sounds interesting... tell them the story and I'm sure they'd understand.
me5 0
Clumsiness is hereditary. Tell 'em that! They'll understand
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Comments (76)
TheButler 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
FIRST COMMENT
Tigg3r 3
congrats! your prize is knowing that you are a complete and total dumbass!
mackenzieex3 0
maybe you could try some makeup? that would hurt :((
livan10 0
second b****
lemonlife 0
no one gives a shit
christttinaaaxo 0
aw,fyl ibdeed.
me5 0
Clumsiness is hereditary. Tell 'em that! They'll understand
lostfaithinpppl 19
+1 YDI, by the way :D
ashlea925 0
Wear a nice shirt?
LizzysOwner 17
As a cheer coach I'm very interested to know how you got not one but TWO black eyes from a stunt. Sounds interesting... tell them the story and I'm sure they'd understand.
jessxoxo28 5
wow, well that wat u get for cheer leading, lol just tell them what happened and try using cover up if ur burned cheek isnt raw
beck1132 0
As someone who was a cheerleader in highschool I feel your pain. In one practice I had a chipped tooth, a bruised nose and bruises on my knee. (we were getting ready for competition) Use lots of make up =) and don't talk about it and if they say anything make up some elaborate story.
MagneticGuitar 0
Dumb Cheerleader.
Malinkrot 3
I knew some obese "anti-conformist" effeminate Myspace high schooler would say something like this...
MagneticGuitar 0
I'm none of those, you just fell for it. :D
bluejayscheer 7
Cheerleaders aren't dumb, I've had a 4.0 my entire life. If she wasn't bright it still wouldn't be her fault if a falling flyer accidentally kicked her or something when she was coming down.
Mustardnight 3
Does no one understand her extended family is gonna think she gets beat?!
TheMisplacedEnd 0
That's what I thought when I read this. Her extended family might not believe her story and therefore might call the police.