Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like, "I'm a bear." FML
Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML
Today, I asked my crush what music he was into, misheard his answer because of background noise, so I spent 5 minutes enthusiastically talking about a band he'd never heard of, thinking we were bonding. When he finally stopped me and clarified, I laughed too loudly out of shame, then knocked over my drink. FML
Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML
Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
Oh yeah that breed of dog is awesome, very loyal, but they have a bad habit of humping things.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I thought the Dumbledore was a breed of goat, with the really long beard and all... The canine version of this would be pretty awesome.
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Comments (163)
lkhardin 13
Hey, I'm a Potterhead, too!(;
zebrapattern 6
liar
soldiat_fml 17
I prefer the Snape, myself.
PsychoKittie 7
* trys not to lmao* (O~O)
really_meow 7
Probably should not have read this so late at night because i'm cracking up so hard I'm actually crying. And every good Harry Potter pun I know has been used in the comments. @_@ Giving this the slow clap.... Hope that was not in fact a deal breaker cuz as random as it was, it was freaking hilarious
liaRawr 9
But who doesn't like Dumbledore
BaDumTsss_fml 23
Love that.