Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with the hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we got out of my car, she started sprinting to get out of the rain. I ran to catch up and slipped on a metal plate, and did a reverse Superman onto my ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in Walmart on a motorized cart and got stuck on a clothing rack next to a super hot guy. Panicking, I said "I just had surgery, I'm a new driver." After failing to get myself unstuck he had to pull the clothes rack and I apart. FML
Today, while browsing through Walmart, I slipped on a piece of clothing and fell backwards into an obese lady’s butt. When I landed, she farted. FML
Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML
Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML
Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML
Today, while I was on a walk, I saw my boyfriend; since it was raining, I thought it would be romantic to run up to him and kiss him. I ended up breaking his arm because I knocked him over. FML
Today, I was at work at Walmart, casually walking in the middle of the store, when my foot caught on something, so I went flying forward and yelled, being caught off guard, to the point I had to pretend I was running for 3 seconds, then someone blocked my path so I suddenly had to stop. Everyone was staring at me. FML
Today, I slipped and fell in mud while running from the car to inside to avoid getting wet in a torrential downpour. I was running from the limo, in my wedding dress, to the church for my wedding. FML
Today, I had an amazing date with my girlfriend. Everything was going great, until I locked my keys in the car. It then started raining. FML
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
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Top comments
baker45678 0
Quick question. Why didn't you drop your date off at the front and go park yourself? Seems like a gentlemanly thing to do.
PsychoMerk 0
well that's another one for the books >_> took me a while to visualize the whole "reverse superman" thing
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Comments (143)
btcrusin 11
why didn't you be like a gentleman and pick her up at the door so she doesn't get wet
Nederlander95 14
Romantic early date to Walmart? Great plan
lovinlife028 24
Walmart? For a date? Way to keep it classy, OP...
marthamydear23 9
you got a hot girl to go out with you and you take her to wal mart????