Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family staged an intervention and demanded I go to rehab. Why? My mom found 'drug papers' in my car. It was a receipt from a routine drug screening for my job. It was also over two years old. FML
Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML
Today, my friends and family staged an intervention for me. Of course, I assumed it was a result of my raging alcoholism. Nope. It was due to my obsession with buying plants. They were deadly serious. FML
Today, when I got out of the shower, my mother, my boyfriend, and 3 of my friends confronted me for an intervention. My problem? They think I'm a workaholic. What they don't know is that I lost my job 4 weeks ago. I stay up all night filling out job applications. FML
Today, my parents tried to stage an intervention for me. Drugs? No. Alcohol? Nope. Gambling? Nah ah. They wanted to intervene on behalf of my soul since I decided I no longer believe in their religion. I had to threaten to call the cops when the escalated to attempt a forced exorcism on me. FML
Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML
Today, on my 30th birthday, my mom, aunt, and sister staged an intervention instead of throwing a party. Apparently I’m “ruining my life” by being 300lbs and being "single for 5 years" and I need to “get my act together.” They treated me like I’m some sort of criminal and reduced me to tears. FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML
Today, my family held an intervention and told me I needed to lose weight. It probably would've had more impact if they hadn't done this over video chat while stuffing their faces at an all-you-can-eat buffet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
k8izgr8_fml 0
how dare you not live your life according to their expectations. selfish...
Thabb 0
They just want you to look guilty of something
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (237)
Imgonnahaveabf 9
Girl, no they didnt!
thatssomeBS 9
This is what is wrong with America today. Stupid people are blinded by the life that is "expected" of them. They need to be married with 2.6 children and own a house with a white pickett fence. If you like single life with a good job, do it. **** your family and what they think is right for you.
iSurf_fml 8
Thank you so much for saying that so I didn't have to. Really, it's nice to know some one thinks the same way I do.
strawberrydreams 18
I wonder how many people will realize that OP is talking about his/her friends. Not family. -_-
lyndz_20 8
they need to get a life...GOSH!!!
mpclaw 3
Smile, be nice. and live your own life. be proud. very proud!
someguy314159265 15
Good for you for knowing that you want. The way I see it, if you are married and have children, you may turn to drinking and doing drugs, and your job that pays well for you alone may not make you enough money for a family. But that's just my opinion. (Yes, I started that last sentence with a conjunction. Problem?)
ceepevoy 0
It sounds like your friends have some growing up to do.
dunicha 20
you need new friends.
mentch12 0
anyone who votes "deserved" is an idiot
Heather_x0x0 6
it's an intervention for being too perfect I guess...