Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family staged an intervention and demanded I go to rehab. Why? My mom found 'drug papers' in my car. It was a receipt from a routine drug screening for my job. It was also over two years old. FML
Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML
Today, my friends and family staged an intervention for me. Of course, I assumed it was a result of my raging alcoholism. Nope. It was due to my obsession with buying plants. They were deadly serious. FML
Today, when I got out of the shower, my mother, my boyfriend, and 3 of my friends confronted me for an intervention. My problem? They think I'm a workaholic. What they don't know is that I lost my job 4 weeks ago. I stay up all night filling out job applications. FML
Today, my parents tried to stage an intervention for me. Drugs? No. Alcohol? Nope. Gambling? Nah ah. They wanted to intervene on behalf of my soul since I decided I no longer believe in their religion. I had to threaten to call the cops when the escalated to attempt a forced exorcism on me. FML
Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML
Today, on my 30th birthday, my mom, aunt, and sister staged an intervention instead of throwing a party. Apparently I’m “ruining my life” by being 300lbs and being "single for 5 years" and I need to “get my act together.” They treated me like I’m some sort of criminal and reduced me to tears. FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML
Today, my family held an intervention and told me I needed to lose weight. It probably would've had more impact if they hadn't done this over video chat while stuffing their faces at an all-you-can-eat buffet. FML
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Top comments
k8izgr8_fml 0
how dare you not live your life according to their expectations. selfish...
Thabb 0
They just want you to look guilty of something
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Comments (237)
Valkyrie19 0
WTF
Leftieswillrule 3
have your friends been watching "How I Met Your Mother"?
spez8 2
better to be by yourself than with bad company. (meaning bf or gf)
Duojet 2
So I have two theories. #1. Your family is somewhat jealous of the fact that you really have your life together and they're just looking for something to criticize you about. Or #2. Maybe they're trying to see if you're gay. I'm not suggesting it, I just have a family that likes to speculate about the unwed in my family.
lulzmylife 4
You desperately need new friends who are intelligent enough to realize there's more to life than breeding.
scdragon 0
I'd tell them to shove it
IdontWanna69 8
Yeah, not everyone needs kids. Or to be married for that matter.
raul1aguilera 2
FTL
anghellic9 0
haters gonna hate op, keep doing your thing. marriage is a trap anyways.
birdie013 0
tell em you have a secret family but your too ashamed of them for not being where you're at, hence the reason they have never met.