Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family staged an intervention and demanded I go to rehab. Why? My mom found 'drug papers' in my car. It was a receipt from a routine drug screening for my job. It was also over two years old. FML
Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML
Today, my friends and family staged an intervention for me. Of course, I assumed it was a result of my raging alcoholism. Nope. It was due to my obsession with buying plants. They were deadly serious. FML
Today, when I got out of the shower, my mother, my boyfriend, and 3 of my friends confronted me for an intervention. My problem? They think I'm a workaholic. What they don't know is that I lost my job 4 weeks ago. I stay up all night filling out job applications. FML
Today, my parents tried to stage an intervention for me. Drugs? No. Alcohol? Nope. Gambling? Nah ah. They wanted to intervene on behalf of my soul since I decided I no longer believe in their religion. I had to threaten to call the cops when the escalated to attempt a forced exorcism on me. FML
Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML
Today, on my 30th birthday, my mom, aunt, and sister staged an intervention instead of throwing a party. Apparently I’m “ruining my life” by being 300lbs and being "single for 5 years" and I need to “get my act together.” They treated me like I’m some sort of criminal and reduced me to tears. FML
Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML
Today, my family held an intervention and told me I needed to lose weight. It probably would've had more impact if they hadn't done this over video chat while stuffing their faces at an all-you-can-eat buffet. FML
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Top comments
k8izgr8_fml 0
how dare you not live your life according to their expectations. selfish...
Thabb 0
They just want you to look guilty of something
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Comments (237)
pike1346 3
actually, married people are not happy. I have not meet one yet.
Winning_Duh 0
the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem...
djewel6 0
maybe op is actually a single woman nearly 40 with a bunch of cats. laugh ok just kidding but we need more info from op to judge properly I'd say hahah
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Are you ******* kidding? No we don't. We have all the information we need. OP is single, successful, and happy. OP's friends are jealous fools with 1950s life ideals. OP's age and gender are the most irrelevant thing in the world in this case. Why is the immediate conclusion people jump to always 'lol must be a cat lady.'? I weep for humanity, and salute fine people like OP for following their dreams instead of tightass old age social structures. There is more to life than procreating and being unhappily married, especially when it's something you know you want nothing to do with.
theunseen 0
marriage sucks it ruins relationships!
kristylew03 1
Agreed!!!!!!
Alekyork 0
Statistically, 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. And rationally, divorce BLOWS.
TheDrummingResul 0
That's not what an "intervention" is for at all. Your family is a clan of idiots.
TheDrummingResul 0
Sorry about that. I said family instead of friends. Either way...idiots.
Bcfrmkc816 17
ok let's do it
GirthLongfello 0
And that is the modern day american society.
Rikkai 0
I hate families like that! D: Live your own life!
santosromero718 1
lemme guess... you're mormon?