Sex Intimacy Instructions

Instructions

Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Waste

Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

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Follow the script

ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

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Like a virgin

chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

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Nope

Anonymous - 15/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

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Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

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disapointed girl - 28/12/2009 16:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

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Congrats

Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

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What is it?

Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

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petpeeeve - 11/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML

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First time?

Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

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sLap_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:09

i definitely don't think that's a fml, i think that's rather cute. he wasn't scared to say that he had no idea what to do, which means he obviously wanted to please you since he was asking you what to do.

LyuboLove 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:01

lol that would so be me on my first time although that's why we have the internet.... it helps a lot haha

scurvyseadawg 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 5:47

children shouldn't be having sex

wordgirl 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 6:07

I'm kind of confused as to why you don't find that sweet and endearing.

HahahaThatsFunny 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 12:53

This isn't really an FML if he's a virgin then that's probably why.

ladybeatle 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 21:18

To everyone who says that girls are too hard on guys who "have to do all of the work": Obviously he's not going to be a sex god his first time, but isn't it kind of obvious you just have to like, move around? In and out? I thought that was instinctual, really.