Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML
Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, my music students began a lively debate about whether or not a music stand would make a good weapon for the zombie apocalypse. What am I teaching them? FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Laterial 3
Gotta love Zombieland!
frutoish 0
That's what got me going. Gotta survive the zombie apocalypse.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (343)
redrat 5
.......................... Zombies can't run there dead
Legolandlord 4
But they can still crawl and eat u
TeeHee124 0
OM NOM NOM NOM NOM Delicioso!
TheHoboWerewolf 0
Um hold on one second...have you even seen 28 days later? Or how bout Dawn of the Dead?! those bastards are fast and since they're dead they are more flexible to run! Common sense man! lol
TheHoboWerewolf 0
Um hold on one second...have you even seen 28 days later? Or how bout Dawn of the Dead?! those bastards are fast and since they're dead they are more flexible to run! Common sense man! lol
TheHoboWerewolf 0
My bad for the double post. ^ :P
rooneyroo 0
Did you just make a reference to fictional characters and then say "common sense" in the same sentence?
Gruv3r14 1
Read the zombie survival guide by max Brooks, you can download the PDF at 420ebooks.com
organicmtdew 0
they also can't exist COS IT'S ******* FICTION, you ass!
cdninf 4
if there was a zombie apocalypse and it were left4dead zombies we would all be ******! : P
Kingcc 0
BOOMERRRR!!!!
TheHoboWerewolf 0
Well Rooney...I'm sorry that not everyone has your incredibly high level of perception but instead of being a ******* douche, next time...just realize the sarcasm. Now go crawl back up your momma's snatch and die! :)
TeeHee124 0
Left4dead? Coach is the BEST
xNephilim 19
152... That really doesn't say much. Right now, flying cars are mostly fiction (unless you count the hovercraft as a flying car), but sometime in the future, they'll be a reality. Also, zombies are technically possible. They're dead bodies that are still firing brain signals. I forgot how exactly, but several scientist have shown theories as to how zombies could be real.
hiyourcute 0
Hey, whatever works!
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
really? craaaaaaaaaap...
bettyc4 26
you're screwed
regsworld11 2
27- You're rude!
bettyc4 26
and the problem is...?
anakaren_831 1
Everyone has different ways of motiation, thanks to zombies you are now gonna shed some pounds :)
jren207 24
News just in: Hospitals to launch zombies as part of their anti-obesity programme.
Midrash 5
Will be very useful 2012..
123jade456 0
great motive
summerkop 7
Zombieland
bettyc4 26
Darwinism . fat and slow are the first to go
_rockaholic_ 0
Zombies go after people with brains, which is why you really don't have to worry.
bettyc4 26
I meant a thumbs up for that
sexxme 9
haha this made me giggle a little bit(: well regardless of the reason, good for you. Getting in shape is always a good thing.
coldsteele152 1
Totaly agree