Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, saying somewhat annoyed, "Don't drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML
Today, at the winery, my boss proudly made a spectacle of the new, high quality bottles. After over a year of employment without breaking a bottle, I shattered three before lunch. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to taste some wine with some friends. I drank a little too much and referred to him as my brother to a random guy. Let’s just say I put a strain on my relationship. FML
Today, I invited my crush to come and spend Thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML
Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML
Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, I needed emergency work on my house, so I’ve been taking wine, beer, and chocolates to my neighbours as an apology for the noise and dust. Later, one of the husbands came round and punched me for showing him up, because he hasn’t given his wife chocolates in years, so she’s mad at him and he blames me. FML
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Top comments
kingkash 0
hahaha I hope u made up a excuse such as I know a wine that goes with this meal alot Better or something like that
Stephai 0
Poor husband...
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Comments (23)
beccaishereyay 11
Apologized*
habertlilly91 3
I agree one time i shot a shitload of heroine and ended up selling catalogs full of mothballs to ederly businessmen, worst trip to Guatemala ever!;P
hurley12 30
It's odd that you're referring to yourself in third person.
Dilwann 27
She's not.
Courtelizab 18
YDI for not knowing what type of wine you keep at home to serve yourself. Just look at the bottle.
Applesarefum 9
#18 did you even read the fml?
soldiat_fml 17
Foot, meet mouth in 3...2...1...
gAt_d 26
You called it like you saw it, no shame in that.
JOFreeman 13
You are a complete moron..... Tdi