Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her, so I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML
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Top comments
BoredOne 0
She must have giggled because she was so impressed by your ability to squeal.
Fuck34 0
Bad things happen when you show off. I'm surprised that's all that happened...it could have been worse.
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Comments (108)
shorgenfunkel 0
You mean you were just indiscriminately lifting weights without a plan?
effmailyfe 0
When will guys understand that all women aren't overwhelmingly impressed when you 'lift heavy weights'? You deserved that one. I would have giggled too.
need_cheese 0
You deserved that one. I don't think she would be impressed by that anyway... This reminds me of a book called "Many males. Few men"... I agree with #29 and #33
effthis 0
just act normal dumbfuck
dlsk85 0
Did you get the warranty?!?!??! Righteous "Squealed" addition!
pinkfrenchrose 5
Showing off=bad idea Once I tried to show off in front of a boy I liked, then I fell into a swimming pool while having my period... So... Yeah..
itsshayan 0
you succeeded in impressing her, you impressed her of how much of a dumbass you are.
Leviathan_fml 0
well, you impressed her.
CaptainPat 0
if you got her to giggle, you should of played it off
vitaminsandminer 0
karmas a bitch, showing off just makes you look like a douche