Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl in a bar with a magic trick. Instead of pulling a coin from behind her ear, I accidentally flicked her glasses straight into her pint of lager. She was far from impressed. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML
Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML
Today, I went on a first date and laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted. I tried to play it cool, laughed harder, snorted again, and then knocked over my drink. The waiter brought napkins and said, “Happens all the time.” To me, yes, it does. FML
Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML
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Top comments
optimusprime0069 8
Did it taste better the second time?
Sunny_Eclipse 6
Who cares about what the date says, OP? To impress her, be yourself. But, yeah, you do sorta deserve it.
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Comments (70)
DaFudge 6
Yum.
bigguy123456 2
Im sure it was so impressive that she slept with you afterwards:)
OfficeNinja 5
next time do the keg stand! skanks worldwide find that hot...
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
I was at a party back when I was in high school and my buddy did a keg stand. This airhead ran up to him and seriously told him that it was sexy. she put out for him that night. You were probably joking in your comment but some girls really are that dumb.
naddification 7
Drink slow, get made fun of. Drink fast, puke fest. Doesn't look good for you either way.
ajlee_fml 0
two beers for the price of one.
allinicolesmh 0
Learn to hold your alcohol, be a big boy.(:
kouklistax3 2
You deserve it for throwing up after chugging a beer. Who throws up from I'm assuming one beer.
emmakkate 0
HA!!
captainbj2 0
If that is what it takes to impress her, move on....she is definitely not a keeper...
SteelCladAngel 0
Thank you! You're one of the few people go are sensible commenting on this fml
awkward_turtles 1
The girl just made a joke. OP was the one who thought it would impress her.
a_nutritionist 10
...joking about someone being a slow drinker =/= I CHALLENGE YOU TO FINISH THAT IMMEDIATELY im a slow drinker and eater, when people make jokes about it i dont then force everything down like a complete idiot.
Habling 6
Thats what happens when you drink Labatt bleue, the thing tastes like the devils piss.
SteelCladAngel 0
Glad I'm not the only one who thinks that haha.