Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden, I heard a familiar voice, saying, "At least someone's having fun…" It was my boss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML
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Top comments
Lifedoutcobra 0
Hahahah he was in the ******* bathroom man, hows that his fault. Its not like he was waving the shit from cubical to cubical
Easy_Target 0
Damn it, Lopez, you have like seven of these about work, what the hell have you been doing?!
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Comments (75)
RedWriter 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Dude. You're a total dork. If you're old enough to have a job, you're too old to be a Jedi. Grow the hell up and find out what to do with your penis. I'm assuming that since you're a Jedi you've never used it for sex of any kind. Maybe try to work on that or since that will probably never happen, work on improving your writing skills.
YeTi_MaNN 0
Oh calm down, he is obviously just having some fun. Not everyone is as perfect and cool as you in every possible way.
HamsteronA 0
he's not cool. fact. op is very. fact.
validus 0
whoa, take it easy. hes just having some fun geez.
lexxyolivia 0
no need to be an ass.
ichikibobivopula 0
get a sense of fun, mr. boring-as-hell
newmandotcom 6
You are never to old to be a Jedi. I am a Jedi. My religion on my dog-tags, in the marine corps, said Jedi
jmelsha11 11
Jesus, just calm Down...
Demonfish 14
Uncalled for dude, Jedi rule!
ItsJustMe1616 26
22 is just pissed off that OP is perfectly comfortable being himself and is probably jealous of the fact that OP clearly doesn't have to pretend to someone else just to have friends :)
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Calm your **** and learn to laugh.
Atara223 0
Never has an FML made me laugh this hard.
blehblooblah 0
I think I just fell in love with you.
Cpt_Obvious88 0
Dude, I won't lie, i've done that before too, i just didn't get caught lol
mh_mini 0
oh man i laughed so much. i hope your boss had a sense of humor.
Hurt16 0
I do this all the time... when I'm bored n think I'm alone I do the dumbest funniest things n I always get caught at my most akward moments all you cab really do is laugh about it really
Cloudbush 0
You should've had a lightsaber fight with him, it could've led to a promotion.
yeahaveragelife 0
bahahahahaaaaa you're such a FAILLLLLLL
thecirclingskies 0
I love you.
Wiiilmaaa 1
it definitely is the funniest thing I've read here :)