Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden, I heard a familiar voice, saying, "At least someone's having fun…" It was my boss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML
Today, while sitting on the toilet, my phone pocket dialed my boss's cell. He was in the next stall. He answered. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML
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Top comments
Lifedoutcobra 0
Hahahah he was in the ******* bathroom man, hows that his fault. Its not like he was waving the shit from cubical to cubical
Easy_Target 0
Damn it, Lopez, you have like seven of these about work, what the hell have you been doing?!
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Comments (75)
grrbeast 0
blast him with it.
bobman555 0
hahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahhahaha RE Tard
alexd375 2
lol. im a jedi too
EBrennan 0
hahaha
ncvolley123 8
a Jedi is a real religion. what people r saying cen be offensive
dopebaby420 0
I am also a jedi.
glitchedgamer 0
So what? You were havin some fun.
skyttlz 32
The first sentence is kinda weird lol. Today, i need to use the toilet.
HiddenAngel09 0
funniest I've read, hands down.:)
beastwill64 16
?
chickletno1 0
hahaha u kill me!