Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, all so there could be "someone to answer the phone." The phone didn't ring once all day. FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
The worst! I've done that and had to unscrew a window and climb through. Fortunately I live in the middle of nowhere so no one saw.
I_Bite 22
you turn the lock and pull the door behind you..
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Comments (34)
Earths_Venus 25
I was going to make a joke about you being "keyed up" but that's kind of the opposite of what you are right now..
singer0421 32
It's always a good idea to leave a spare key with a neighbor or friend you trust in case something like this happens.
OhWhoCares 42
You won't be saying that when you get robbed :-)... Just saying, you might not wanna go around passing out keys to your home to neighbors, friends, and even family.
Mauskau 36
The only people I know that do that are elderly people, and it's their children with keys and maybe one neighbour they've known for several years, and the rest of the family knows who the neighbour is. I wouldn't trust any of my friends with a key, and if I lived on my own I wouldn't let my family have a key either. Too risky for my liking.
Migole 36
@20: I'm sorry you had to experience things that make you unable to trust people. I would trust my family and basically every one of my friends with a housekey because they wouldn't be my friends if I couldn't trust them not to steal/destroy my things. About the neighbour, well that's another thing. But most people who do this, have known their neighbours for years and don't just hand a key to someone the moment they move in :P
Joshery 14
Sorry op...maybe you left a window unlocked that you could climb through
MrConcise 35
"Sigh, today's gonna be so shitty, I can just feel it al--" *click* ". . . we get it, life, you love your irony."
singer0421 32
I don't think you understand the concept of irony.
MrConcise 35
Why would you expect something bad to happen right when you're talking about it? Perhaps I understand all too well.
MsFML_ 16
You should give someone close to you a spare key just in case it happens again! :)
t_fml 11
It looks like your LOCKED outside the house! Sorry that pun doesn't make sense and that does suck.
Mauskau 36
Congratulations you just repeated what was in the FML, I present you with two choices. A cookie or a medal. Choose wisely.
asherm 15
Been there, done that a few times. Cab ride to get to work, then call landlord later for spare. I have since trained myself to lock it with key from outside.
SarahRanee_ 6
thats what I do. lock it from the outside, its the best way to never lock your keys inside (:
Mauskau 36
How did you lock a door from the inside if you're opening it and then going outside? Locks usually have bolts that are sturdy enough not to move if pressure is applied on them, otherwise the door might open easily. I understand some locks may be different but we can't open our door if we lock it from the inside and if it's open the door doesn't close.
Squygm 7
#41, some people lock just the doorknob while the door is still open, and then walk out and close it.
DArthurVaderian 18
Where I live doors automatically lock
patrickalamo 48
Go to work and let the locksmith worry about it.
dakotaabriannee 14
Looks like you locked out this time! Better lock next time!
thejonac 21
your house is officially thief-proof