Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2 a.m. Some old man pulled in and asked me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replied, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working a night shift completely alone at a truck stop, a trucker asked me to get in the shower with him for a "funner night shift", and threw his towels and clothes at me when I told him no. FML
Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML
Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, as I was fueling my truck, I was asked out to dinner by a 65-year-old retiree. I'm 25. He stormed off and called me a bitch for politely turning him down. FML
Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML
Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML
Today, I was hanging out with a friend at IHOP. When I left, a middle aged man in the parking lot offered me $100 to sleep with him in the dumpsters behind the building. That is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
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Top comments
schwancy 2
Not even sweats can hide all that sexy!
FYLDeep 26
Here's one reason to quit smoking that you probably never thought of up until now. The list is apparently never-ending.
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Comments (140)
KilIjoy 0
did you get hot and sweaty? :)
KVKdragon 26
time to shave, brush/floss your teeth, scrub your face, and refresh your wardrobe. doing all that should help improve your public image
Aaaabeee 0
haha
Maflagulator 1
One night at about 3am my friend and I saw some black girl at a gas station who appeared to be no older than 15 at best. As a joke I hollered at her: "hey, how much for head?" She answered so fast it was scary: "AX YO MOMMA DAT!!"
killabee 0
Harassing a 15yr old in the middle of the night, hilarious. :-/
lajaynay 15
It's his stomach... O.O -gets sick-
Icyyy 0
Lmfao I thought it was a butt too at first.
StitchedBear 0
April.. did you write this? if so; you are a ***** and tell him you don't need to be paid to be plowed
sourgirl101 29
Did he want to pay you with early bird coupons?
KYLAsaysRAWR 0
it's not that you look like a hooker, its that you're ugly enough to be a "lot lizard".
Fmlissodamnfunny 0
ye you might be right, lookin at your picture tells me you know a lot about being ugly...
nerdsgetmehot 23
#77 Don't be a jerk. She's not ugly at all!
iheartowls 0
77- Reading your comment tells me you know a lot about being a douchebag.
Fmlissodamnfunny 0
Thanks for those awesome comments!!!
balldeep 0
thats cute
Timmy_Boy 17
Congrats!!! keep up the good 'work'
feenicks 0
Well… how much?
xicano 0
did you give him a senior discount?...lol