Today, I found out my husband had bought my one year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, I found out my husband got my 22 year-old daughter pregnant. Not only that, he’s drained our savings on her including a new iPhone and Macbook, designer clothes and handbags, etc. His defense, in all seriousness, was, "She’s not even my biological daughter, chill out." FML
Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, I found out that my husband has been seeing another woman and my 16 year-old daughter once caught them while I was at work. She didn’t tell me about it because she was enjoying all the hush gifts, shoes, purses, and the payments for her BMW X3. FML
Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML
Today, I was reduced to a blubbering mess at my baby shower. My mom bought tons of clothes, bibs, etc. Sounds nice right? Well, they all had sayings like "Daddy’s Little Princess" and "Daddy’s Girl." She knows full well my fiancé quit his job, changed his number, and disappeared without a trace 3 months ago. FML
Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dramakat11 0
Omg that is hilarious. Really insensitive though. I mean, that's true of a lot of children but that's not a nice thing to broadcast, you know? But maybe he's a great dad and just has an outrageous sense of humor.
mohit88 0
He wins u married a funny guy LOL
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (163)
snapshotninja 0
where did he get that shirt im telling my husband to buy it now for a future gift!!
vanillafrosty25 0
i dont think thats funny. i think its actually really ****** up but thats just me. /:
My_averageFML 0
ya I agree that's really ****** up.
Ickle_kins 0
LOL your husband is a CHAMPION!! win!
Megabot 0
WIN! EPIC WIN!!!
Nick75 0
CMCR!! where can I get this shirt?
MissNat_fml 0
yes FYL... why would your husband do that? does he not love his daughter? does he think she was a bad mistake? **** him. what a loser.
Sparky1728 0
Your husband deserves one internets
UnwantedIGuess 0
He sounds like he has a really crude sense of humor, and I say this from experience. My dad. It's funny the first few times, but it gets really crappy after a while. I feel your pain. I'm sorry. :(
kiwi0605 0
that's so not funny.