Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was getting onto an airplane and happened to admire the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when my foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to my seat but now I have bruised nuts. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML
Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML
Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML
Today, I arrived to apply for my much-needed dream job. Without warning, just as the elevator opened, a complete stranger kicked me square in the nads. FML
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Top comments
Rocyer 0
Nice bruise.
doink 0
Did she have a Hoveround? If she did then technically you wouldn't have been lying.
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Comments (166)
effedupfml 5
haha fuking pawn'd
beertime36 0
Damn, I'd hit her... you know what I mean. :D
LMA0 5
That's one way you can get her to touch your nuts. ;)
supergamer94 0
You should've probably asked "Are you okay? What happened" before saying something as stupid as "Nice chair".
konachan 0
If some random girl kicked me in the nuts, I would call the cops on her. Why do people ignore it because its a girl? Clearly she assaulted you without reason, you should of called the cops. If a guy in a wheelchair hit you in the nuts, I bet you wouldn't be all "whatever" about it. Try and bump into her again with a hidden camera. Then when she hits you call the cops and press charges.
Tekno4Lyfe 0
and konachan or wateva, it's onli a punch in the balls, they werent ripped off, and yes I hav balls and I no wat it feels like, but still, if ya punchd in balls just take it like a man, dnt go b*^chn bout it tu the cops
gigi37 0
"If you were punched in the balls, just take it like a man, don't go bitching it about it to the cops?" No. She assaulted him, she had no right to do that and she definitely took it too far. Yes it might be a bit embarrassing to press charges because a girl punched him, but how else will people learn that just because she's a girl doesn't make it right to hit a guy Had this been reversed and the crush was a guy in the wheelchair and punched the girl in the stomach or wherever, people would be yelling, "call the cops on him!"
Tekno4Lyfe 0
ye but why make bein hit the balls such a big matter?
CheshireHalli 19
It can cause all kinds of problems if a guy gets hit in the nuts. =S
marshmallowmouse 0
That means she likes you! XD
vincespektor 0
I so woulda fcked that bitch up. like pushed her off her chair for doing that. she had no right to touch you. I'm jus saying
headphone84 0
nice chair?WTF you call that flirting?
Tekno4Lyfe 0
lol, ownd by the crippld=P
mzhonesty 0
I find what he said funny, actually. I'd have told him what happened to my leg after I stopped laughing. I thought that was the normal thing to do.