Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's ex. I decided to be a good person and hold the door for her as we walked into the store. She decided to be the bitch she is and stomp on my foot as she walked through the open doorway. FML
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
Today, I ran into my ex at our local supermarket. Trying to be aloof, I waved casually, but I misjudged the distance and knocked over a display of canned beans. My ex just stood there, laughing, while I scrambled to rearrange up my mess. FML
Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML
Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML
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Top comments
Avi8r 22
That was pretty immature of both of them
TripleATeam 13
Well, at least your boyfriend wanted your ex to know he lost something great. Too bad it didn't work out.
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Comments (50)
SK8WITME 19
And this is what I call bad luck, lol
whatunicorn 17
Yikes, Sounds like a train wreck, like you want to look away but you can't.
Lalala579121 28
And then you realize your ex was on that train and laugh.
hugtrees13 16
How petty is your boyfriend lol trying to make your ex jealous is real mature... Lol get over it
Lalala579121 28
Lol
hugtrees13 16
Why would your ex be jealous? He's your ex lol
nickie_94 18
Sympathy cringe!
WOTAN1488 24
At least your new bf cares :)
SilverLust69 6
******* hilarious! XP
Seabass_Chan 33
Plot twist: What OP didn't know was that her current boyfriend and ex-boyfriend had a secret, sordid gay lover affair back in college before suffering a nasty falling out. The boyfriend then got back at his ex by dating the man's former girlfriend and flaunting the fact that he has someone new whenever possible.
leogachi 15
@25 This would make a great movie.
anonymoussqueak 16
ex boyfriend is probably glad he's an ex.
SomewhatNuts 19
Kitteh8601, you are the reason why a lot of women aren't getting the equality that we are all bitching about. You think you're justified to slap the shit out of a guy because he laughs at you. I wonder what would happen if it were rolls reversed. You'd scream abuse and pull out some bullshit line about how you're a victim, this, that, and the other thing, and expect charges to be laid. Utter bullshit.