Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought my very first college textbook. I received a stack of hole-punched papers. My $195 "book" isn’t even bound together. FML
Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML
Today, I went to the local used books store to sell all my college textbooks. I spent several hundred dollars on them in total. I ended up walking out of the shop a pathetic $3.50 richer. FML
Today, I was at work when my mother called. She gave me great news that she had finally cleaned out my room and all those "old and useless" books that I had in there. Those "useless" books that she had just trashed were all antiques and worth about $500 each. There were 27 books in there. FML
Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML
Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML
Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
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Top comments
LetItRise 0
stuff like that grinds my gear, teachers that don't use the god damn text book Fyl
moshimoshi1993 8
Or that the ant is a statistic. 34% of ants die each year in unused text book accidents.
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Comments (105)
LetItRise 0
stuff like that grinds my gear, teachers that don't use the god damn text book Fyl
BaskenRobin 2
haha welcome to university! Where price of books are almost as much as tuition (combined) and then then end up sitting unopened because the prof decides not to use them!
Jimmyd0t 0
agreed, and now that there's a dead ant on it, OP can't sell it back lol
Agiggleaday 0
You could say the dead ant is a decoration.
moshimoshi1993 8
Or that the ant is a statistic. 34% of ants die each year in unused text book accidents.
sxe_beast 11
Wow 21 you made me LOL uncontrollably for like 5 minutes. My friends and other people at the mall are staring at me like I'm insane. IDK why that was so funny. FML =c Anyway the OP can probably carefully clean the ant off ^_^... Hopefully.
urdirtyolduncle 15
23-- After reading the last few sentences in your bio, I'm going to thumb your comment down but not tell you why because it will simply drive you crazy.
TurkTurkleton 0
you kinda just told her why you thumbed her down...
comepoopwithme 0
i didnt
Rawr_means_love3 0
39 and 50, Was that really hard to understand? I found it funny :)
Veraymix 6
At least it was useful.
EvilPotato 15
step 1-find a book or a similar object. step 2-drop that object on the ant. step 3-throw dead, mushed body away.
urdirtyolduncle 15
^Step 4- Post the educational experience on FML
zendaddy0 0
awww that was my most favorite ant
katTKD 0
at least you don't have to worry about the ant anymore :)
MrSassypants 34
Until it's brothers come back for revenge.
imOaks 3
All 30,000 of them.
daltyboy 0
haha ,34
dolphincheddar 10
why would u worry about an ant. it's.. an ant it can't do much except carry stuff and attempt to bite thru ur skin but fail. that or build a colony in your wall. on which case a textbook wouldn't help. -.-
ZAE06 0
yeah ur right 78
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
30,000? IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!
Fayelyn 0
Finally, a good use for overly priced school books. I will follow your example someday.
theten_fml 9
just a couple more books and then stack them and use them as a tiny stool =]
Cilph 3
"Probability and stochastic processes" by R.D. Yates and D.J. Goodman?
Iamnotmyself 17
Obviously that, out of all the books in the world! My god your a smart man arn't you. You want a cookie!?
marinus_fml 20
Just sell the book if you don't use it.
Darcon 8
LOL!! Why doesn't OP just sell it?
YacL 15
That ant had dreams, you know, and you went and crushed then with your damn, over-priced text book. F the ant's life.
Iamnotmyself 17
You are my favorite FMLer... Ever.
mockingjay_fml 0
I don't understand what op is talking about ..
marinus_fml 20
Magical fairies dancing with pink unicorns. OP is a little disturbed.
BaskenRobin 2
What's there not to understand?
FarSide 23
@18: Just what are you trying to say BaskenRobin?
BaskenRobin 2
I'm trying to ASK what she doesn't understand. The punctuation mark at the end of my comment clearly indicates a question not a statement.
airborn54 0
that's cheap man my accounting book was like 240 bucks and I didn't get but 70 for it when I sold it
marinus_fml 20
AIFRS text book? ( applying international financial reporting standards?) yeah that one cost me around $200 as well
airborn54 0
idk man it had a big light bulb in the middle and it had plastic inserts
ReynshineCutting 10
That's nothing. I spent $170 for a chemistry book. When I went to sell it back, they offered me $5. I ended up just keeping it.
Surferbro 5
kudos to you good job bro