Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML
Today, I found out that my shower area is in direct view from my neighbours' balcony. I realised this when I caught my neighbour and his wife watching me while I was getting dressed. I've been living here for 7 years. FML
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Today, I learned my hotel room had the shittiest blinds ever and that if you want true privacy you need to shut the curtains. I discovered this after three wives from the opposite windows complained I’d been flashing their husbands when I got out of the shower. FML
Today, my wife and I got freaky in the living room. Apparently we didn’t close the curtain all the way because three of our neighbours called the police. There was barely a 4 inch gap in the curtain. They must've had their noses right up to the window, or using binoculars. FML
Today, I found out that my landlord had been showing my apartment to new tenants without telling me, when I woke up this morning to a family of four staring at me scratching my nuts whilst watching TV on my couch in my pajamas, horrified. FML
Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that's for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago were inside. After they left, the "For Rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML
Today, my new upstairs neighbors moved in. Within ten minutes of getting in the door they were screaming and arguing about everything, practically handing out death threats to each other. I then heard them having even louder makeup sex for about three hours afterwards. FML
Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML
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Top comments
dawood_k 27
Be honest... How long did you watch them go at it
jarrettd 27
Or, you could stand at the window and make the face that my profile pic makes. Once someone sees this look through their window they'll buy you and themselves new curtains.
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Comments (91)
Fmlsea 28
they could be exhibitionist for all you know.
joeblow6969 5
Or buy a laser pointer and coach to him what areas to focus on during foreplay. they might close the blinds...
berkeleyjake 13
or you could not and create a website
NPN_Scorpio 16
Live show beats Netflix any day. I smell humblebrag.
Matttis 7
Oh man free live ****! Are they hot?
khoov19 20
wht? thts not wht u thought an apartment with a view ment?
ToxicTyrael 26
Please don't write like a gangster...
khoov19 20
why the heck are you talking about? because I put "u" in place of "you" that makes me a gangster?
Ashd09 30
because you refuse to type the few extra letters it requires to spell words correctly. I wouldn't say you type like a gangster, just an idiot
khoov19 20
yes I left off two letters but I can garuntee that choice of syntax or as others belive error in judgment does not make me sound nor talk like a gangster nor does it make me sound like an idiot. if anything at worst a lazy speller.
Ashd09 30
I should point out that you left out 7 letters in total. If you're not going to put in a tiny bit of effort to spell out simple words, you probably shouldn't comment.
khoov19 20
And if you decide to post a picture of yourself you should not dress like an animal it tends to attract freaks well unless that's what your going for that is. and as far as my grammatical and or spelling errors I wholeheartedly agree I should put in more effort. well that is if I wanted to or even gave a rats ass about what you or any of your cohorts thought or think of my posts. see what we have here is someone that has stopped caring long ago about what other actually think of me or my literary prowess and regardless of you or others may think, I lead a full productive life without feeling a need to be validated by anyone and in particular, other children that decide to make a comment on a post of mine to validate their own inadequacy or irrelevance in the world they live in. but seriously I think if you keep up the good work eventually you will feel like you actually matter and one day you will feel relevant in the world as a human and until then good luck I wish you well.
Ashd09 30
You might want to work on your punctuation too. And as for me feeling "inadequate" that's only a baseless assumption you made after looking at my profile and comments. I am perfectly happy with the way I am. I painted my face like a cat because, surprise surprise, I wanted to. I am not out to attract "freaks" as I am only 15 and care about my health and well being. Now, I am done arguing with a 40+ year old man that lacks the grammar skills of a 9 year old. Goodbye to you.
Badkarma4u 17
If its so horrible, you don't HAVE to look into their window.
toxic324x 17
I didn't know people still say shag
vikky538 29
did the apartment owners put the ad saying "apartment with a viee,"
Pixiemels 19
In such a situation, one does not buy curtains, one buys popcorn!!!!!