Today, I dropped and snapped a carving knife that’s been in my girlfriend's family for generations, and is used to carve the meat every Christmas. I'm a huge coward, so I hid it back in its box but when it gets taken out again Christmas Day 2022, I think I’m a dead man. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I dropped a box from my dad's attic and blew a hole in my foot. I now have 3 toes missing because dad forgot he once wrestled a gun away from some kid trying to steal his wallet, meant to give it to the police, but kept forgetting, and it wound up in the attic for 11 years until today. FML
Today, I was simply trying to fix my skateboard wheels with my pocket knife. The tip suddenly broke off, leaving me horrified. It was my favorite knife, which I inherited from my dad who abandoned me when I was 4. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I had to hide the entire drawer of kitchen knives under my bed just to keep my mother from stabbing her cheating boyfriend, and slashing his tires. This happens more often than I'd like to admit. FML
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Today, visiting my partner’s family for the first time, I offered to help cook, saying I could chop the vegetables. Five minutes later, I nicked my finger, dropped the knife, and instinctively said a very loud curse word in front of their very traditional grandparents. Everyone froze while someone went to get me a bandage. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a sword under the bed, a proper sharp 'knight on horseback' sword instead of the typical baseball bat for burglars, I found this out after I was groping under there for a dropped earring and cut one of my fingers down to the bone. FML
Today, I realised that despite all my careful Christmas preparation, there is one thing I forgot to get. The gift for my wife, which I should've picked up from the shop I ordered it from. It’s sat in that shop right now at 7pm on Christmas Eve. I’m a dead man tomorrow morning. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Maybe find a metalsmith or some similar kind of expert to get it repaired? The internet is your friend.
Anderling 33
First off, hiding it will probably make her MORE upset than just growing a pair and admitting to it. Lying to your significant other is a bad thing. Second, see if you can find a good knifeworker somewhere. This might still be fixable by welding it together, or maybe the blade could be replaced but the handle kept for its sentimental value.
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Comments (8)
Marcella1016 32
Maybe find a metalsmith or some similar kind of expert to get it repaired? The internet is your friend.
Anderling 33
First off, hiding it will probably make her MORE upset than just growing a pair and admitting to it. Lying to your significant other is a bad thing. Second, see if you can find a good knifeworker somewhere. This might still be fixable by welding it together, or maybe the blade could be replaced but the handle kept for its sentimental value.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
So you saw a course of action which is doomed to failure but decided to press on with it anyway. Not a great plan.
mike3775 39
So instead of acting like an adult, you acted like a child.
Hangryko 32
Own up to it now. If you don't, you're not mature enough for a girlfriend.
cacheson 42
If it’s a special knife only used at Christmas why in the world were you using it?
JasonThorn 23
Not to mention it had its own box so why were you messing with it in the first place, OP?
CowgirlWithHeart 16
Don't ruin their Christmas by making them find out that day. Get it taken care of now and they can repair it possibly before they need it, or at least they can have time to mourn it beforehand.
bobsanction 18
Break up with her so thoroughly she'll forget you exist by Christmas. It's the only safe option. But seriously, but be a pretty awful knife if it breaks from being dropped.