Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
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Top comments
Spiffy 0
at least you know he's comfortable sharing
ccb_fml 0
hahaha if i were you... i'd give him a high five for having a good sense of humor. that's hilarious... please don't tell me you continued to dress and left.... people knock on people's doors all the time. no biggie.....
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Comments (159)
Zoe_Cat 0
...That's... My Name o.O hah i bet you were like: FRICK FRICK FRICK
Neenertastic 0
Today I realized that half the people posting and commenting on this site are half my age. FML Today I went to share this and FML tells me "Too much FML submitted at this time - please try again later." DoubleFML Are we all this effed?
iluvmycatz 0
thats not that bad
ccb_fml 0
yes we are #42 because they won't let me post my FML either... and the worst part? i definatley deserved it.... FML!
Paynegwynn 0
@38, I think 37 was being sarcastic.
Danny_Shakes 0
To all you religious freaks that continue to come on too these posts and judge others: I thought God was the only Judge? Just for you personal enjoyment I would love to come to your place of worship strip naked and do the chicken dance. This would be followed by a lovely drug-driven orgy with hopefully all the young women in attendance, premartially of course. People can have sex with whoever and whomever they want since we enjoy something called freedom. Please keep your backwards religious views to yourself, while the rest of us take our chances and continue to be extremely happy getting off without a wedding ring. I am going to have sex with my girlfriend now for the second time today and I thank Jesus for giving me the ability to have sex multiple times a day without being married. Kiss my Ass Religious Nuts.
Bossman 0
Wow. That's awesome. Your boyfriend sounds like a good guy.
Serenity_fml 0
Did she make you pancakes later? :)
greedy_dead_soul 0
lmao that's awesome
haha08 0
ha he sounds pretty funny. i wouldnt worry about it.