Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because, "It's chicken, not salmon." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mom doesn't believe you can get food poisoning from food that is cooked. She gave us food that had sat out all day/night and then got angry when I said we could get sick. FML
Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, my stupid drunk dad was yelling for food and since my mum needed to finish her taxes before midnight, I told him to STFU and passed him prawn fried rice, which he told me to shove up my ass. I threw it in the bin, since he's the only meat eater in the family. When she'd finished, she yelled at me instead of him. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I woke up late and in a rush, I grabbed what I thought was a container of leftover spaghetti from the refrigerator to take to work. At lunch, I opened it to find it wasn't spaghetti, but raw marinated chicken my roommate had prepped for dinner. I ended up eating a vending machine sandwich that tasted like cardboard. FML
Today, my parents told me not to make plans for dinner as they were bringing it home. Normally, that would be great but they brought home slop from some buffet that had just opened. Everything was greasy, too salty, or bland. I told them they could have it, and made my own dinner. Now I'm being called, "The Food Network critic." FML
Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed at me for throwing away her food, calling me a sick, controlling psycho. When I pointed out that the seafood pasta I tossed was a week old and almost certainly rotten, she dug the box out of the trash and ate it to prove a point. Now she's got food poisoning and somehow it's my fault. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
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Top comments
evaki1 12
You should have said 'I meant chicken pox!'
Michyxo 14
Well, you probably should have cooked it again yourself rather than throw it away, but fyl, that's disgusting.
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Comments (221)
hurricanelea 1
Cook it yourself
SalsaDaddy 1
Don't you just love old fashioned moms?
misslyss1234 0
I think I need a fella
thejake1997 0
is your mom a gypsy?
punkrocker092 0
I'm sorry you're being raised by a dumbass
hurray4jmk 1
Why didn't you just go recook it?
KnucklesDeep 5
Your mother is an idiot.
lifeisasillygame 2
lmao.. that's all i can say.
mileyfan17 8
Your moms an idiot
Burdie04_fml 0
I agree with everyone else, you should have cooked it yourself. You should be grateful you have food!!!