Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
Today, my aunt said that it looked like I lost some weight. I was pleased with this, since I've been trying to lose some. My mom, for some reason, thought it was insulting. She pulled me to aside to assure me that I most definitely don't look any skinnier. FML
Today, my son was looking through old photos and showed me a picture of myself and asked who it was. When I told him it was me, he responded by saying "But mommy, the lady in the picture is not fat!" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I gained a few pounds and thought I looked fat. He replied that I looked the same and that I shouldn't worry because he likes fat girls. I never thought I was fat before this. FML
Today, my mom and dad were talking about how if I lost weight, I would be attractive and have guys all over me. My dad said, “That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” It took me a while to realize they both think I’m ugly. FML
Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML
Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML
Today, my mom and I were looking at dresses for me at the mall. The cashier pointed out a dress, and my mom said, "She's definitely not going to fit into that. She's too flat-chested." FML
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML
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Top comments
Megbo 0
Truth.
kagome_eb 0
hahaha am sorry he is right, don't ask people questions unless you want to hear the true.
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Comments (139)
lemon_squeezy 0
hey you're the one that asked!
plumae 0
I love your dad.
ree_fml 0
welllllll, that's what you get for asking. go dad!
cbxlbn 0
Hahaha your dad is witty!! I'm impressed. Sorry about the burn but, if you're going to choose to be overweight, embrace it and laugh at it. Otherwise don't ask questions that lead to such comments.
chelsea2384 0
thats like the oldest joke ever
cryssycakesx3 23
I was thinking about that too. I heard it seriously 10 years ago. her dad is neither witty nor cleaver.
Shadic 0
At least he's honest. Now go find a treadmill.
unknownentity 0
looks like someone's been watching Tommy Boy
sleepykid00 2
Well, if you have his credit card, then go on a nice shopping spree! XD
chaosleader0 0
maybe if i hadnt read this on a joke site about 4 years ago i would feel sorry for you
UnofficialBlonde 0
at least he told the truth?