Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, as I crawled into bed and hid under my blanket, I was hit with a very strong and familiar smell. The smell of piss. My cat had peed all over my only blanket. Guess I'll sleep under the mattress. FML
Today, I washed the comforter one of my nine-month-old kittens peed on last night. Just as soon as my boyfriend put it on the bed, she peed on it again. FML
Today, I got a new mattress delivered to my house. Didn’t have it on the frame for more than 5 minutes before my cat had already pissed on it. FML
Today, as I was laying down to sleep, I grabbed my covers and realized the cat pissed on them and on my body pillow. Now I'm up at 1 a.m. doing laundry so I can have clean bedding and my kids are awake. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
Today, I replaced my bedsheets with new, clean ones. I went to the bathroom to wash up, and when I came back, my cat had peed exactly where my head would be. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
j_cat187 20
And that's why cats are cockblocks.
pcentral 17
I don't need pets in my bed. I'm already animal enough
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Comments (145)
zyprexa_fml 10
My cat sleeps on my bed all the time,and she has never peed or pooped on it
therealNickG 3
Cats are evil. Why in the world would you let them sleep with you and your gf? You ******* deserved it
Johnnyt93 0
No guy should like cats unless they are gay and this just backs up my theory why cats suck
BobbieH 19
That's what happens as a man who wants cats on the bed. You completely deserve it! Hope the couch is comfy!
Leslier_fml 4
You are better off getting a new mattress.
alycion 39
I had a cat piss on my mattress when he had kidney failure. White vinegar worked better then baking soda. Scrub at the stain with a cloth damp from vinegar or soar vinegar on stain and dab it up with a clean cloth. Breaks the odor and gets the pee out of mattress. I also had to add vinegar to the washing machine when I did the linens. My one talent in life is being able to get any stain out of just about anything. Rofl
alycion 39
Soar should be spray. Yay for autocorrect
dsl1123 8
Cats can be so vindictive at times.
KiddNYC1O 22
Up there among worst odors ever.
lakinre 2
Ever think about training your cats to use the litter box? YDI
YOFO 0
BURN!!!!!!!!!!