grant b This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff United States

Gun control

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

410 comments

Collection

Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

Same thing different taste

Anonymous 11 July 2012, 05:29 Dallas, United States

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

129 comments

HelpMe1 6 November 2014, 06:53 Jakarta, Indonesia

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

72 comments

corey 28 February 2012, 03:41 United States

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

72 comments

vikts 29 May 2012, 17:52 Olm, Luxembourg

Seize the means of production

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

72 comments

Anonymous This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff La Mesa, United States

Sure, come on in…

Today, while working third shift alone at a gas station, I had to deal with a crazy guy tripping balls and asking me if it was okay to bring a gun into the place. I don't get paid nearly enough for this. FML

26 comments

Sudokori 7 September 2017, 01:30

Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML

17 comments

Anonymous 3 October 2019, 22:00

Tonight, on Asshole Bosses…

Today, I went to pick up my last paycheck, since I was fired last week. My boss said he wasn't going to give it to me. I told him it's illegal not to, and he told me with a shit-eating grin, "What are you gonna do? Arrest me?" FML

12 comments

jobless This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff United States

Lay the blame

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed afterwards that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML

98 comments

Killmenow This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff United Kingdom

MVP

Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing, and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML

14 comments

Anonymous 6 December 2014, 18:23 United States

Know your place

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML

72 comments

visiON123 0

9 June 2011, 12:05

Isn't that's how everyone is paid in Texas?

Valentina_Baby 7

9 June 2011, 12:08

And that's how you survive the zombie apocalypse

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Comments (410)

igotnolegs 1

9 June 2011, 12:19

Ok, if no one else is gonna say it...WHAT THE ****??? Guns??? Oh, you're from Texas. Disregard what I said above.

jc10x 8

25 August 2013, 20:26

I thumbed you up before i even read your comment because Arsenal is my favorite team lol

Sandsh8rk 36

9 June 2011, 12:28

Why is this under the kids category?

JapMASTER5000 0

9 June 2011, 12:40

Because guns are harmless toys.

KaanTech 0

9 June 2011, 18:31

or guns op mentioned is paintball guns or water guns

ShakeMeDown 12

9 June 2011, 20:20

Ikr...

capt_awesome1 11

9 June 2011, 12:29

that's pretty awesome. where do you work ?

KaanTech 0

9 June 2011, 18:36

counter zombie force needed when somebody tries to eat your brain

DatWhiteGuy 0

8 July 2011, 18:39

A pre-school.

Pieratking 0

9 June 2011, 12:32

Depends on what guns but I would think about taking that offer. As long as there was a resale value on the ones you didn't want

Zahos 0

9 June 2011, 12:39

I know that's what I would do.

luvppl 6

9 June 2011, 12:42

why guns? like guns as in bang bang, you're dead? or guns like boom pow ?

sxe_beast 11

9 June 2011, 12:52

I'm confused. Don't both guns that go bang bang and boom pow kill?

luvppl 6

9 June 2011, 12:58

I mean like shooting guns or muscles?

sxe_beast 11

9 June 2011, 13:53

OOOOOOOOOOOH guns as in like biceps?! How do you pay in human body parts? That's even weirder than paying with actual guns. *confusion* lol

cgchamp89 7

9 June 2011, 14:12

I'm gonna take a wild guess and say OP is referring to the kind that go bang bang, you're dead...

chiddy_bang71 0

9 June 2011, 17:14

how can you get paid in muscles?

jvillan87 5

9 June 2011, 17:23

How the hell would he pay him in muscles? Seriously...you can't be that dumb.

grizzly260 0

9 June 2011, 18:11

Your stupidity is unnerving. How the hell would you pay some one with muscle. Secondly what are you like 9?

luvppl 6

9 June 2011, 19:22

Well actually no, I'm not stupid, but my mind is just too complex for you guys to comprehend... perhaps they said that they would work them hard? Half of these FMLs are inappropriate on here so I do apologize if I interpreted this to be the same... and also that those of you are to dense and childish that you assume that everyone else are idiots.