Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML
Today, I sneezed while at the office. I felt snot shoot out, but I couldn't see anything on the tissue. I ignored it and went on with my day. When I went to the bathroom hours later, I noticed a huge wad of snot had dried onto the front of my shirt. No one told me about it. FML
Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML
Today, while giving a presentation, I felt something tickle my nose, but I kept talking through it. Eventually, someone in the front row raised their hand and said, “You’ve got a little, uh… something.” It was a full-on rogue booger. Hanging. Wiggling. For 10 minutes. FML
Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML
Today, I was washing my face and I started rinsing the soap off my face with my eyes closed when I felt something gooey on my face. I opened my eyes to realize I had been rubbing snot on my face from when water got up my nose and apparently snot came down with it. FML
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Top comments
MissGrinch 4
54 and 63, respect other languages please! 1, if you must speak in Spanish, there is a Spanish version of FML for your convenience.
ellice17 3
that snot good for your hair :/
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Comments (141)
megamandude455 10
I love how op said biggest wettest booger. thanks for unseeable mental picture
Drummer389000 0
Something About Mary anyone? :)
Rush91 0
You completely deserve it. You do not deserve it for drinking, you deserve it for not being able to drink worth a shit.
far_east 6
wahoo wata win boooooogerrrrr :D
Nosmo75 4
Wait, your plan was to pretend the translucent sticky stuff in your hair was hair gel? Have you SEEN 'There's Something About Mary'?! xD
sloppyflow 1
slimy situation
Drukiin 0
freak
currykid266 0
kooks gnak
flashback.miss 28
awww did no one get my reference?
PopGlitterBridg 0
That is the grossest story up here! I feel soooooo bad for you!