Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I took my best friend to an '80s party. She drank too much and ended up puking all over the interior and exterior of my car, as well as inside my right legwarmer on the 30 mile trip back home. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML
Today, I drove a drunk Venezuelan exchange student home after a prom party. Notable events: her puking on the way to the vehicle, her yelling in Spanish at the top of her lungs in the car, her puking out the window in the moving vehicle, and her crying because she felt bad for making me drive. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
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Top comments
fnyunj 3
TurboTalon is exactly right. Years of experience - I've only had to do this once. That's when I learned - if you have the urge to puke, your body is telling you you NEED to puke. You've been poisoned. It's not too hard to accidentally drink too much. Especially when you're young - your body is developing, you're socially awkward, trying to fit in, there's drinking games, etc. All stupid reasons to poison yourself, but it happens all the time. When you get that urge to puke, you may puke, or you may not. If you don't, well, you could pass out and die of alcohol poisoning. Or not. But your liver still has to process all that crap, and I guarantee you, you will have a horrible hangover the next day. Every single time I've puked, I felt better, usually within the hour, I sober up faster, and the next day, I don't feel like I'd rather be dead. Like I said: I tested this on purpose only one time. I had a lot of tequila, like 12 shots, in about an hour. I forced myself to puke, and it worked. Not only did I feel better the next day, but I realized how stupid and pathetic it was to have to do that. Since then, I'm WAY more careful about over-drinking. I have not had a bad hangover since. No, I'm no fun at parties. Boo-hoo for you. At least I won't puke in your car.
knibbsy 4
YDI for not tying her to the roof.
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Comments (98)
twinny_sc 13
something like this happened to me once only when we were right in front of my friends house she opened the door and threw up all over the door, I made her clean that shit up tho
tinooh 0
that's pretty sucky
sindy23 0
hahaha sux for you! agreed with #18
dynky 3
she couldn't just do the old fingers/gag reflex thing one of the times you were pulled over?
hahism 0
rub her nose in it
LilAfo 4
that's nasty :/
jgilez 0
< slays anti flood in the name of glowstixx
ynnhoj 2
I think fml should change it's name to this just happend. tjh
dubstep87 0
hahhaha rub her nose it it. good one, I would of slapped the bitch and made her clean up. this is why smoking is better. you don't have this bullshit happen
nikkicolie 0
ew, make yur friend clean it up .